Given to me twice

Yesterday – my friend, Hilarie Jones, wrote in the guestbook in response to my last journal entry… “Passionate and complex or docile and simple she is still your same little Anne – a precious gift from God – given to you twice.”

Have you ever read something – and immediately the Holy Spirit uses it to transform your heart in an instant? Well, that’s what Hilarie’s comment did for me…

Reading her words reminded me of when I was pregnant with Anne. During the whole 1st half of the pregnancy, I was convinced Anne was a boy. Mainly, because I was terrified of having a girl! At that point in my life, I had been wrestling with daddy/daughter and feminity issues, so not only did I feel incompetent, but incapable of raising a girl. When the ultrasound tech said she was a girl, I wept. I felt like God was saying, “Kathryn, I entrust you with this girl, because I am sufficient.” It was like a personal promise to equip me for the task and also to heal my emotional woundedness – which He has faithfully done over the last five years…

So now God, in His tender mercies, is giving me Anne again – bit by bit, strand by strand, layer by layer. I feel like God is calling me to savor each part of her as I wait for Him to reveal his masterpiece (called Anne) in His timing. What a sweet gift!

-kathryn

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