It’s May. May is always busy. In fact, there’s a post from a year ago that I could have just copied and pasted. Nothing has changed! Well that’s not really true. A lot can change in a year.
At the beginning of this school year, I set two goals for myself… 1)Write more, and 2)Exercise more. I’ve done okay on those goals.
Both goals were primarily about me finding time to do the things that I love, but I learned some valuable lessons in the pursuit.
Because of my writing, I was asked to speak at a national women’s conference in February. I’m one of those rare persons who loves speaking. I did a little speaking before Anne’s accident, so I was very ready to try out my teaching skills again. The conference went well, and I received encouraging feedback, but when I came home and looked into Anne’s eyes, I thought, “My place is here.”
I had a similar experience when I went away for a girls’ weekend with my running buddies. We went to Nashville to run a half marathon. Now that’s a major accomplishment, something that I’ve always wanted to do… But when I came home, and hugged my Anne, I had the same thought. “My place is here.”
I think there’s a part of me that still strives to find significance outside the home. It’s a struggle for most stay-at-home moms. The culture places little value on our work at home, so we try to reach outside to find significance. Writing and speaking are worthwhile pursuits (and I hope I get more opportunities), but my most significant work is the work I do behind my front door – the sacrificial work of taking care of my family.
This is so counter-cultural. And it’s especially hard to believe when I’m sitting on the bathroom floor waiting for Anne to have a bowel movement or when I’m washing soiled sheets or brushing Anne’s teeth. But the most significant thing I do – the thing that has the most eternal impact – is working together with Eric to care for our children. Somehow, these humble pursuits are deemed valuable by God. So, I’ll keep fighting against the part of me that longs for significance. And if I need clarification… all I have to do is look in Anne’s eyes and know that (at least for now)… “My place is here.”
Crayons In My Water 
Yes, your place is there, but a mother & caregiver to someone, you need a break & need to get away for yourself once & awhile. You need refreshing once in a while to carry on there.
The look in Anne’s eyes when you come back from your get away is happiness to see you again.
She was being well taken care of while you are gone & glad to see you back again refreshed.
Taking care of a loved one &/or family can wear you down & you are no good to anyone if you are worn out, tired, irritable, etc.
You need time to refresh, even if it is a day, a weekend or a week away, you need time for yourself.
God loves you and he wants you to take a break for yourself sometimes, too.
Prayer go to you & your family, and especially sweet Anne. Love you all, Carol
LikeLike
And some people (IF they didn’t know how incredibly they’re blessed, with the way things actually ARE in their lives) would give their eye teeth to be fully emersed in this counter-culture activity….and absolutely thrill in the opportunity….Pitfalls and heartaches included!
Glad you CAN get away to speak, to run, and to re-affirm that you ALSO love being home with your incredible family. You are right: It is there, together with Eric, that some of your most valuable work is being done…..and by sharing it here….you’re touching lives far more than you ever dreamed.
Much Love, Warm Support and Prayer-Songs steadily flowing…..
LikeLike
Thank you Lu!!! Very good words.
LikeLike
I love this. I have the exact same sentiment about being with my boys. Working is great but my place is with them. Thank you for sharing.
LikeLike
Kathryn, I can identify with your sentiments here although I am now beyond those year of being mother to our four, now adult, children. I encourage you to realize that your writing may be the way you reach beyond the walls of your home for this season. And definitely a woman has season’s of life when opportunities vary according to the season. I realize Anne’s needs will extend longer than would have been expected before the accident. Thank you for sharing your journey. Your life is very significant and your witness in the home and with the family will be used by God in amazing ways, I’m sure.
LikeLike
I know that you feel that your place is with Anne and the rest of your family now. You need to go on growing, too, though. Of course, Anne doesn’t understand why you leave and she might have some fear whether you’ll return or not. But you really don’t know what goes on in her mind. She’s just so glad to see you when you come home! You’ve spent so much time with her since the accident that she just expects you to always be there. But I think that the more time you take for yourself and allow yourself to “breathe”, she’ll get accustomed to you being gone for short periods of time. She’ll eventually see that you are going to come back. And she’ll love you more each time you do come back. Don’t be so hard on yourself! You’re a fantastic mother! You’ve gotta’ be or God wouldn’t have given you Anne, as she is now, to do the things you do for and with her. He knew you could handle it, even though, sometimes I’m sure it seems impossible. Remember God is in control! You talk to God about things you want to do for yourself and ask Him to give you an answer. He will!
Always in my prayers!
God bless!
Freida
LikeLike
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I agree with you Kathryn. I can be pulled by other things placing a value on who or what I am (or my own desires). I love having time with my girlfriends but my husband and children are first. Thank you again for speaking the truth and sharing your heart.
Khristy
LikeLike