Grief & Joy

Anne continues to make very slow progress. And I continue to experience a very paradoxical life…

I experience both grief and joy daily. Not just a little grief and a little joy – no, the kind of grief that feels suffocating – and the kind of joy that fills you with awe.

The only way I manage to stay sane is to stay in the present. I feel like God is teaching me to wait and trust. Every morning, I ask God for strength to do both. He is faithful to sustain our family. He gives strength for the day with the joy of His presence sprinkled on top.

We have so much to be grateful for as Anne slowly emerges and shows more emotion…

On Sunday night, she was crying – the hardest I’ve seen her cry. She explained that she was thinking of a little boy in her Sunday School class that had been crying because he missed his mommy …so sweet.

Her joy is infectious, especially when she’s playing with Canon and Kate. They love her so much – showering her with kisses, tickles and hugs. She’s witty and has the cutest laugh. She loves to tell Knock-Knock jokes.

She’s refreshingly straightforward. The other evening, I was challenging her to walk a certain distance. In the middle of me ‘encouraging’ her to take a step, she said, “You’re commanding me. Why are you commanding me?”

She gets frustrated with Kate when Kate gets a little rambunctious. Yesterday Anne hollered, “Feet to yourself, Kate!”

We do love Anne so, but work each day to remain open handed before God. She is His – to do with as He pleases.

So we wait, and we trust. -kathryn

FYI: Her CAT scan is scheduled for 9/28…

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