It’s been a while since I’ve written – mainly because I’ve been extra busy and sad. I’ve been wrestling with why I’ve been so sad, and I think it has something to do with bad theology.
Theology is simply what you believe about God. So lately, I’ve been thinking that God is not working on our behalf, or that we’re not important to him anymore, or that he doesn’t really care about us… Crazy right? How in the world could I think such untrue thoughts… After how He’s cared for us this past year… Not to mention that on every page of the Bible is a love letter to me, His child, and to Anne, one of the “least of these.”
Anne struggles too. She often says… “Why did God make my life harder?” In my worst moments, I’ll think… “Why did God make my life harder?” Self pity is the drug that leads to despair. I think this is the other reason for my sadness. Self-pity. And self pity thrives on bad theology!
I’m thankful that God has led me through depression before Anne’s accident. It was the deep realization of God’s goodness that brought me out of depression. Because of that journey, I know God is good. Now that’s some good theology!!
If God’s goodness is the anecdote to bad theology, what is the anecdote to self-pity? Gratefulness. So I’ve been trying to practice gratefulness. Thank you Jesus that she is alive. Thank you Jesus that Anne can stand on her right foot. Thank you for Anne’s smile. Thank you for providing the means to pay for therapy. Thank you for caring for us. Thank you. Thank you for these circumstances that press us more deeply into You. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.