I’m listening to the house… it’s quiet and I need to go to sleep. But I don’t want to, because something feels undone – unfinished… unsatisfied. I’m trying to write about Anne – but everything’s the same – she still has a brain injury.
When I pray for God to heal her – and I mean the “all-at-once” kind of healing… I know I’ve become desperate. God doesn’t work that way very often – because he cares more about our holiness than our happiness. There will be plenty of time for happiness in heaven – for now, it’s character building time.
But right now, in my unsettled, discontent heart… I just want to be happy. But the happiness is elusive.
When I feel this way – unsettled – like something’s unfinished, I know I’ve been grasping at distractions to fill the achiness. It’s a spiritual achiness – a longing… and silly entertaining distractions don’t cut it. I need the Savior. I need His touch. I need him to replace the discontent with contentment, the anxiety with peace.
I need to go to bed :) And pray, and wait, and hope that tomorrow will be better.