Note: I wrote this in June of 2018 – but forgot to post it…
Yesterday was the 18th of 20 days of Anne’s intensive therapy. She’s doing amazing!
When I picked her up, Anne’s therapist greeted me with the usual, “Anne worked so hard today. She walked longer and further than the other day,” and other good newsy items. But then she said, “But… Anne got angry and screamed at us. To distract her, I asked Anne if she ever screamed at you. She said, ‘I never scream at my mom. EVER.'”
As her therapist shared this story, we both laughed as I described how Anne unleashes her anger on me via screams, bites, hits. Then her therapist made a wise observation – ALL children save the worst for their moms. No matter the diagnosis or lack there-of – it’s the privilege of moms to love their children at their worst.
But it’s also the privilege of moms to enter into the deepest part of their children’s lives, linger with a hug, wipe away a tear, stay up late with when they’re teens, watch them fail, and coach them into adulthood. In other words, we know our kids best – ALL of who they are – the best and the worst – and we love them anyway :)
Anne’s brain injury leaves with her little ability to filter her thoughts and emotions. She’s slowly improving in filtering around others, but when she is with me, I get ALL of her. ALL of her needs, ALL of her emotions, ALL of her love. It’s a little overwhelming. Anne’s anger is IN-TENSE. But on the other hand, her love is intense too. My day is filled with spontaneous, unsolicited declarations of love.
I love my time with you, mom.
You make me feel comfy, mom.
I love you, mom.
As much as I love her, I swear she loves me more. Not many moms can say that. I’m blessed :)
4 thoughts on “Boundless love”
You have given us all a gift in this post. So wise.Mu intense love right back to you and Anne!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is beautiful and very profound! Thank you for sharing with us all. 💗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely, beautifully, crushingly ALL! Anne loves you so so much!
How amazing is your love, and how healing for all of us, to bear witness thereof.
I expressed anger at my Mom only once in my life. I didn’t scream it, rant or rave…I simply said one short, 3 word sentence….and she walked right on out of the room and my life. She chose to believe that that sentence was the end of the entire story, that it expressed every feeling I had or had ever had…that there weren’t any “ands”. Her own woundedness was so great there was no room for anything more.
How wise you are, to know there is always more to the story.
And that when the heat of the moment’s gone, she’s able to articulate the rest of her feelings toward you….and you’re able to embrace them…letting the hurt of a few moments ago, be released to the sun.
Surrounding you in prayer, with love and His light