4. At Home

Given to me twice

Yesterday – my friend, Hilarie Jones, wrote in the guestbook in response to my last journal entry… “Passionate and complex or docile and simple she is still your same little Anne – a precious gift from God – given to you twice.”

Have you ever read something – and immediately the Holy Spirit uses it to transform your heart in an instant? Well, that’s what Hilarie’s comment did for me…

Reading her words reminded me of when I was pregnant with Anne. During the whole 1st half of the pregnancy, I was convinced Anne was a boy. Mainly, because I was terrified of having a girl! At that point in my life, I had been wrestling with daddy/daughter and feminity issues, so not only did I feel incompetent, but incapable of raising a girl. When the ultrasound tech said she was a girl, I wept. I felt like God was saying, “Kathryn, I entrust you with this girl, because I am sufficient.” It was like a personal promise to equip me for the task and also to heal my emotional woundedness – which He has faithfully done over the last five years…

So now God, in His tender mercies, is giving me Anne again – bit by bit, strand by strand, layer by layer. I feel like God is calling me to savor each part of her as I wait for Him to reveal his masterpiece (called Anne) in His timing. What a sweet gift!

-kathryn

Looking back…

I just spent a little time re-reading Anne’s journal entries from the last few months…

She has come so far. I needed to be reminded of God’s faithfulness because I’ve been feeling discouraged lately. I shouldn’t :-) I realized today that God has restored Anne to exactly where she needed to be to come home. She can sit, and she is emotionally stable. Those were my two main prayers for Anne, and God answered.

I guess I’ve just been a little sad watching Anne at home. She’s so docile… and simple. Anne used to be volatile and complex, so it’s tough for me to have such a different child at home. I miss my passionate Anne…

God is good. If Anne were her passionate self, I know she wouldn’t be handling her physical limitations as well as she is now. I just pray that Anne will continue to progress – that I will one day see my passionate and complex Anne again. I miss her terribly.

…trying to focus on God’s faithfulness -kathryn

Day Rehab…

Wow! Day Rehab is awesome!! All the therapists work together as a team to accomplish Anne’s goals. The support staff is amazing – even working with Anne during the entire lunch hour to keep her food off the floor and in her mouth :-)

The best thing about Day Rehab is that at the end of the day, Anne gets to go HOME!

Anne after her 1st day at Day Rehab

Please pray for wisdom for all of Anne’s primary therapists as they evaluate her over the next two days. Based on their evaluations, they’ll set her goals and determine their course of action.

Our prayer for Anne is that she will be writing, reading and walking by the time she leaves Day Rehab. For that to happen, she needs to make drastic improvements in her focus and attention skills. We’ll see what God does :-)

-kathryn

God’s sovereign hand

So amazing it is to look back and see God’s sovereign, good hand at work in our lives. Examples:

  1. Two months prior to the accident, Kathryn had been praying with Canon that God would use our family to glorify Himself and that we needed to trust and obey God through trials that we face.
  2. God made it clear that we needed to be open handed with our possessions – thus causing us to reduce possessions several months prior to the accident. These resources can now can be used for little Anne’s rehab and the lack of those possessions help us focus on what is important.
  3. A number of months ago, God pricked our interest in the topic of the existence of suffering in a world created by a good God, so we read some on the topic. It helped to know Biblical truths during this journey.
  4. Many of the relationships that God engineered in our lives have been an incredible influence during this time.

oh, i suppose it is all just coincidence. . . . . HA! not a chance!! :-)

1 Cor 1:18 – For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

-eric

Wow,

…Anne is home. Anne has really done so well adjusting to home – even with the juxtaposition of having many new experiences for Anne mixed into the familiarity of home:

  • she has learned to sit on her own for 5 minutes or so before falling over.
  • Anne has continued to eat really well, although she still makes an enormous mess :-)
  • she is sleeping better here than at the hospital
  • she seems happy and is only fussy when hungry or constipated
  • we took her to the pool and she enjoyed a short water therapy session

Canon and Kate have been really sweet and are always wanting to assist Anne. Anne pokes their eyes, pulls their hair, and squeezes their noses, but Canon and Kate just love on her. Tonight Kate said to Anne right after Anne pulled Kate’s hair – “I love you, Anne”. Somehow at 4 years old, Kate understands where Anne is in her recovery and is willing to be on the journey with Anne – only God could make that happen.

Pray for Kathryn – it has been hard: While at the hospital, the comparison was the miracle of Anne moving from the stillness and silence of the PICU to Anne’s speech and movement while at inpatient rehab . . . . but at home, we are much more reminded of (and mentally compare her to) Anne’s little person prior to the accident. So we continue to have joy through some tears when remembering the past . . . . but we know God calls us to be in the present with Him . . . . and Anne.

The day rehab program starts on Monday, so our journey continues. . .

Pray that Anne will continue to heal! We have three goals for our stint at day rehab – Reading, Writing, and Walking. Please pray that God heals Anne in these ways.

-eric

Anne’s at HOME!!!!!

I expected to be very emotional when we left the hospital, but I wasn’t. I didn’t cry until we pulled into our driveway and saw balloons, streamers and “Welcome Home Anne” signs. We do have good friends.

Lunch was a comedy of errors. Anne continually dropped her food on the floor. Kate, being the helpful sister, would pick it up. But every time Kate bent over to pick up Anne’s food, Anne would grab her hair. About this time, the Orkin man shows up to spray for bugs. Great.

Anne and Kate are now having a ‘not-so-quiet’ quiet time in their room right now. Both of them need to rest, but I think they’re too excited to do so. Anne seemed very happy to be in her room. It was heart-warming to see.

We’ll start day-rehab on Monday. They’ll spend three days evaluating Anne and then we’ll make a plan based on her current progress, future goals and insurance coverage. Until then, we plan to relax at home and maybe try to go to the pool. Anne loves the water :-)

-kathryn