Holdin’ On

We received a good report from Anne’s neurosurgeon yesterday. Her CT scan showed many positive indicators including the decrease of fluid on her brain. The bad news is that Anne’s injury has caused significant atrophy on the right side of her brain (which is a loss of neurons and the connections between them.) We’ll just have to pray that Anne learns to compensate!

Dr. Reisner is such a kind and compassionate man. He genuinely cares for Anne and will probably follow her for a long time. But for now, she is stable from a neurosurgerical view and only has to see Dr. Reisner yearly.

Neurologically, however, we are just getting started. Anne will visit her neurologist on Monday. He will address her seizures (which are still present) and eventually her attention/impulsivity issues. I’m sure we’ll become well acquainted with the neurologist’s office :-)

I’ll share a glimpse of our morning with you all… After breakfast, as I was sweeping up crumbs and mopping up spills, we were listening to Toby Mac’s Holding On – very loudly:-) I dropped my mop and picked up Anne. Canon and Kate danced around me as I was spinning with little Anne. She was squealing with delight. Then the doorbell rang. Yup, the Orkin Man. So he just joins in the fun. He takes Anne and dances with her. I pick up Kate. Canon is in the middle doing his 8-yr-old boy dance (use your imagination). The Jacksons and the Orkin Man dancing to Toby Mac. Good times. Great song…

We’re holding on over here ;-) kathryn

She’s doing well…

Anne continues to improve little bit by little bit. She’s come so far since she was released in the hospital last June.

She’s doing so well during her hippotherapy (horse therapy) sessions. This past Thursday she rode frontwards, backwards and sideways. Watching her ride sideways with her feet dangling over one side of the horse and her torso moving in rhythm with the horse ALL WHILE KEEPING HER BALANCE – reminded me of how she could barely sit up by herself when she first came home from the hospital. That’s good progress :-)

Considering the severity of her injury, she has some amazing cognitive strengths – including her memory, language and reasoning skills. It’s a good base for her to build upon.

The past month or so I’ve been wrestling with God’s goodness. I’m finally in a better place – closer to surrender and trust in His plan for Anne. I’ve been reading a book by Nancy Guthrie called, Hearing Jesus Speak Into Your Sorrow. Great book…

I’ve moved to a place where I am less concerned with Anne’s physical well being than with her spiritual well being. Don’t misunderstand, I’m still praying for her continued healing! I just pray more fervently for her to love Jesus and trust Him in the midst of her tragedy. I pray that for all of us… Canon, Kate, Me and Eric – to move into a deeper more meaningful relationship with Christ.

Anne brings us so much joy! We are so grateful to God for her life!

Thank you for your continued prayers :-)
-kathryn

“Terrific Kid”

Award Day at school

Anne received an award at school today! She was recognized as a “Terrific Kid” who demostrates “a positive attitude, good character and responsible citizenship.”

Canon is a proud big brother

Anne’s teacher was very kind to give this award to Anne as a means of encouragement to her and to us, her family! We were all present and watched as Anne received her award in front of the PreK, K and 1st graders.

Anne went to her third hippotherapy session today. She LOVES riding and is showing improvement each week :-)

Thank you for your continued prayers.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen” Eph. 3:20-21.

Good progress…

Anne has made good progress since starting school in January.

She has her own walker that she uses with the PT at school. Anne started at the beginning of the month walking 75 ft. and has increased her distance to 150ft.

Anne has had problems keeping her legs straight when she walks. She “scissors” her legs – or crosses them over each other as she walks. Lately, her scissoring has decreased, and she is walking with a more normal gait.

Anne couldn’t count very well when she started school, but now she can easily count to 20.

Her oral fixation is improving slightly. A few weekends ago, our family was eating at a restaurant with close friends. At this restaurant, they give the kids a huge bucket of crayons and paper. I sat, waiting for Anne to pick up a fistful of crayons and drop them on the floor or throw them across the table, and then eat the rest of them! But she didn’t. She picked up one crayon, held it with the correct tripod grasp, scribbled and placed the crayon back in the bucket. She colored with lots of different crayons, always putting them back in the bucket, and only one crayon went in her mouth! We were thrilled!

She’s slowly getting better at tracing her letters with her right index finger. She can trace T, L and E easily and is starting to do well at A, N and W.

Anne is continuing to gain more self awareness. She is often angry and frustrated, especially at night. She talks about how she is angry at God for letting the car crash happen. She also gets angry at me when I have to dress her, brush her hair or help her go to the bathroom.

She has been kinder to Kate lately, showing her affection and telling her, “I love you Kate!”. She continues to play well with canon. Their imaginary worlds and games are getting more complicated as Anne makes more cognitive gains.

Her language skills continue to improve. Her sentence structure is excellent, and she corrects our grammar at every opportunity. Her memory for song lyrics is unusually astute. Today she said to me while I was singing, “No mommy. It’s ‘took’ not ‘takes.'” Seriously?!

Her private OT sessions are very challenging for Anne. They are working her left hand very hard. It takes so much effort for her to even try to move her left arm or squeeze her left hand. She usually leaves those sessions exhausted…

In the hospital, I would tell her that God was helping her to get better every day. Anne would always ask, “even today?” And I would respond, “Yes, Anne. Even today.”

I still tell her that God is helping her to get better and better every day. And she still asks, “even today?” And I say… “Yes Anne. Especially today.”

Trying to trust God with my little girl… -kathryn

A child’s grief

Anne has started showing more signs of self awareness, and she’s also asking some difficult questions…

“I’m sad that i have a brain injury, dada.”
“Mama, I’m sad that i can’t walk.”
“Daddy, why did God let me get hurt in the accident?”

And Canon has begun to process his grief….

Weeping, Canon said, “I cant imagine Anne ever getting better. I can’t imagine her ever walking. I just want things to go back to the way they were before the accident. I want to go back to that day and tell you to go a different way, mommy.”

There are no easy answers for our 6 and 8 year old children. They reflect my own questions and grief. God in his goodness has met us in our grief and uncertainty. And he will continue to walk us through this tunnel to the end.

Please pray for us as we seek wisdom and comfort.
Thank you :-) -kathryn

Anne’s status quo

I’ve been thinking that I want to capture all the things that Anne can do now, so that I can look back next year and (hopefully) be encouraged by how far she’s come. I’ll probably add to this post over the next few days as more comes to mind…

So let’s get started:-)

PHYSICALLY Sit independently
Sit up from laying down by herself
Roll over and sit up
Scooch forward on her tummy using her right arm and knees Throw hard with her right hand
Stand up by herself for 1-5 seconds
Stand up holding on with right hand for balance for 1-2 minutes
Walk with moderate assistance stepping with the right leg better than the left, but the left is almost as strong as the right.
Using her body and shoulder, she can bend her left elbow to move her left hand up to her nose.
She can squeeze her left hand very weakly.
Her left arm is regaining movement from the shoulder down.

Balance is still Anne’s biggest obstacle to walking.

COGNITIVELY Her use of words is excellent, and this provides a unique insight into all of Anne’s thoughts. She says whatever she thinks. She is at so many different developmental levels- it’s all quite complicated.

We have seen an improvement in her oral fixation, but she still mouths objects like an infant. Emotionally, she acts like her former 2-3 year old self. She loves to break the rules; she gets angry easily; she can be mean to Kate and me, but she has nothing but adoration for Eric and Canon. Her attention and impulsivity have improved in subtle ways, but these are still huge obstacles for anne. She grabs my glasses, pulls my hair, throws food, drops her cup and fork on the floor. She uses bathroom talk inappropriately. But her conversation seems to be more in context – probably only making random, strange comments 30% of the time instead of ALL the time in the hospital. She is starting to play with toys more appropriately, like her dolls and educational ‘button-pushing’ toys.

Another way we’ve seen anne’s attention improve is her use of her iPad. Eric decided to buy Anne an iPad because the computer captured her attention, but she could not control the mouse. The iPad’s touch screen allows Anne to play preschool educational games independently. At first, she couldn’t control her hand to play the simplest game. But after only a month, she can turn the ipad on, unlock it, find and open the game she wants to play and play the game well. We are very encouraged by her ability to learn.

Anne knows all of her colors, letters & sounds, and numbers. Her impaired attention affects her ability to count objects and read simple words. She does recognize her name and the names of her siblings.

She can’t write letters yet. She has some pre-writing skills such as drawing straight lines and circles. Tracing is hard for Anne. She does play a writing game on the iPad. She can trace C and O by herself, and trace letters like T E F L if I help steady her hand.

If you’ve read this far, then you might be willing to pray for Anne tonight. I’m writing this post while sitting in Anne’s darkened room – waiting for her stomach virus to wake her up. Eric and I are taking turns on sick duty. Anne caught this virus from Kate, so I know it only lasts eight hours or so. Hopefully, by 3 or 4 am, Eric, Anne and I will have survived and be peacefully sleeping :-) Good night for now… Kathryn

Edit: Anne slept from 3am – 7am – and seems to be perfectly fine now!

Merry Christmas!

Well, Almost. . . . . . Kate(4) has enthusaistically asked me every day this week – “is tomorrow Christmas?” Little Anne, catching wind of these discussions has started asking me – “is today Christmas?” i suppose the theory being, if i keep asking maybe mom and dad will eventually give in and say that today IS Christmas :-)

Little Anne had a really good day yesterday. . . she just seemed a little more lucid and ‘with it’. After a strenuous OT session, she asked Kathryn on the drive home – “i’m tired, i worked so hard today, can we go to Wendy’s?” Her conversation just seemed a bit more normal and the tone in her voice seemed more herself. She seemed to switch topics less frequently and kept on-track.

Over breakfast, as Canon(8) and i were discussing our new family dynamics and how God still has a good plan for Anne and for us amidst the difficulty, Canon reminded me: “Daddy, its like the story of Joseph!” How so, i asked. Canon suggested that just like Joseph’s trip down the dark well of hopelessness, God made it all for blessing and for good – and for His purposes!

Kathryn and i have been a bit more anxious (and even sad) these past 2 weeks as we consider little Anne’s challenges and how she loved Christmas last year. Canon’s Jospeh account that God is writing a story that will glorify Him through the weakness of a child (Anne) is amazing wisdom. What a great thing for me to remember as we focus not on ourselves, but on the Christ-child. . . . . through the weakness of a baby, God chose to save us!

-eric

God works all things together for good…

I can’t believe how this week has flown by. It’s been another busy week full of appointments and therapy. Anne continues to do well – taking each new place and person in stride.

Eric and I have been reminded this week of the ways God is using Anne’s injury for good…

First of all, we see good for Anne. Before, Anne was very shy and reserved. She saved her affections for a select few. She was paralyzed in a way by her concern over what others thought of her. it was our constant prayer that God would remove her self-absorption. Anne’s injury has helped to remove her self protective filters, so she is free to express what she feels. What we are left with is an extremely loving little girl.

Secondly, we see good for Kate. Anne was very controlling of Kate before the accident. Without Anne’s constant directing, Kate has blossomed into more of herself – which is a highly energetic, fun-loving, spirited little girl.

Lastly we see good in how God is shaping our character. He is molding Canon into a more compassionate little boy and rooting out the selfishness in Eric and me. It is painful, but good!

I’ll end with a brief bit of news. After a marathon meeting with the school system- at which we outlined all of her goals and requirements, Anne is set to start school in January! Everyone from the school system has been wonderful and has really strived to provide the very best services for Anne. I could not be more pleased :-)

Thank you for your continued prayers. We are grateful beyond words for the constant encouragement we receive from your comments and prayers for our family. Humbly, kathryn

Good conversation

Little Anne’s conversation seems, ever so slightly, more appropriate…

Every night little Anne and I pray together. We pray for lots of things including her relationship with God, her healing mentally, and her progress physically. She always asks me in the middle of my prayer: “Dada, can I pray?” After an immediate ‘Yes’, she always prays the same thing: “Thank you for Dada, Amen”. I never really thought much about her prayer, until a few nights ago – and I realized, on so many levels, what a wonderful blessing that tiny prayer is to me. Tonight, something wonderful happened, Little Anne made her expected request, then prayed: “I pray that I would be able to run, and dance and sing, even though I already know how to sing. And thank you for the trees, Amen”. Wow, something new and different from her prayer!

Kate (our 4 yr old) normally complains about going to her weekly speech therapy appointment. Last week Kate announced how excited she was about going to speech. Upon hearing Kate’s change of heart, Anne said: “but Kate, I thought you didn’t like going to speech therapy”.

When Kathryn was reading books to Anne while sitting on the floor, Anne blurted out: “Mommy I am having so much fun!”

Individually, these items seem tiny at the point of each event, but they add up to tell a significant story of God’s healing. Only a couple of months ago, little Anne would not have been capable of such suitable and fitting comments, but God continues to do His good work in Anne!

We are thankful for:

  1. Our family who walks with us each step of the way
  2. Our friends and church who truly care and constantly reach out to us
  3. The amazing small group of therapists God has called to work with Anne

We would cherish your prayers with us for:

  1. God to grip Anne’s heart for all of her days, and for Anne to know God in the most profound way
  2. Anne’s attention to improve and her impulsivity to decrease
  3. To make great strides in her walking

-eric

Effort & Laughter

Little Anne squeezed my index finger with her left hand (affectionately known as lefty) ever so slightly today! i have asked her to do this repeatedly since May and she has never been able to muster even so much as a wiggle. But today, something in Anne’s brain connected. God is slowly bringing back function!

We have noticed that little Anne seems to be learning a new skill – effort! We see now when she really tries hard to move her legs in her walker, she holds her mouth wide open and cocks her head a little sideways. You can see the effort on her face. When she applies herself she really moves forward – literally :-) She exerted this same great effort when i was asking her to squeeze my finger. GO ANNE!

Anne continues to make us laugh. We were putting her to bed, and pretending to make Anne into a pizza. This is a silly family ritual that involves lots of tickling and squeals as we ‘stretch the dough, apply the sauce and toppings, and put the pizza in the oven (couch) to bake.’ When we finished and Anne was exhausted from laughing, it was time to eat the pizza! As we were pretending to gobble her up, she said very sweetly, “But, I’m a person.” We just laughed and laughed!

-eric and kathryn