Disappointment & Glory

The past two days have been quite a journey! God has been so tender and gracious to give me a sweet gift of encouragement at the end of yesterday (Monday) – which was one of the hardest days of my life …and then He continued to show me His goodness, as today (Tuesday) was one of the best days of my life!

Where to begin?

Yesterday was hard because of the disappointment over not removing the drain and therefore not moving to rehab. Anne’s tremors increased yesterday b/c they lowered her anti-withdrawal meds… She is having a painful time coming off of all the heavy narcotics that were in her system for weeks. My eyes were focused on what was seen – her agitation and pain – instead of the unseen…

God in his tender mercy chose to encourage me from the most unlikely source… her neurosurgeon! He is one of the best in his field, but has been very frank regarding the severity of her condition. He always chooses his words carefully so as not to give us false hope. But last night, he cautiously offered a morsel of hope as he shared a story of a former patient with injuries similar to Anne’s …She went on to be at the top of her class in college. The poor doc didn’t know how to react when I sat and wept – just out of thankfulness that God knows my heart – and knew that I needed encouragement…

Which leads me to today. It was a glorious day. The Physical Therapist (PT) let me hold Anne. Not like the other day when I just sat beside her and hugged her a little – but REALLY hold her. I sat in a rocking chair and cradled my 5-year-old girl like a baby. I sang to her, prayed for her and cried over her. I felt like all of heaven stood still and watched as I held my precious Anne.

But the blessing didn’t stop there! After I held Anne for 30 minutes, and Anne sat in her chair for an HOUR, the Occupational Therapist (OT) and Speech Therapist (ST) came to work with Anne. They sat her up on the side of the bed. She was able to hold her head up a little; she chewed and swallowed ice – but here’s the fun part – she actually listened to the OT give a command: “Anne, if you want to rest, push back against my hand.” And she leaned back with her body against the OT’s hand on her back. And then the OT sat her up again, repeated the command, and Anne did it again! We laid her down, cheered for her and she smiled the biggest smile I’ve seen from her yet!

Later I saw all 3 therapists in the hall – they were all clapping and pumping their fists (it was quite a scene…) so I walked out and asked, “so, did Anne do well today?” And they looked at me and said, “Well? She was AMAZING – she responded to a command TWICE! – That’s reason to throw a party!!”

Truly, a miraculous day. I’ve cried many grateful tears today. Thank you all again for supporting us as we walk this road. We still have a long way to go, and even though we don’t know what the end looks like – we trust that God has good planned for Anne. Amen? AMEN!

One final note: We think Anne’s drain will come out Thursday – which means hopefully Anne will be in rehab by the weekend. We will pray for just that :-)

-kathryn

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