I was raised by a single mom who (inadvertantly) taught me the dangers of trust and the benefits of independence. Asking for help is not something in which I’ve had much practice. My tendency is to build a bunker, grit my teeth and ‘tough’ my way through. The bunker mentality leads to isolation which ultimately leads to despair… It’s impossible for me to be everything to Anne and to the rest of my family. In my weakness, my independence only leads to failure.
Because of the public nature of our tragedy, we’ve been surrounded and uplifted. But a year and a few months after the accident, we have slipped out of the forefront, and I find myself in the uncomfortable place of asking for help. Needing help is another paradox in God’s Kingdom. I am greatly blessed by the help of others…
One example – a teenager in our church who has suffered much loss in her own life has an extra dose of compassion for special needs children. She will be Anne’s ‘guide’ during VBS this week. I can’t help but think that God hand-picked her to help before the creation of the world. She is a blessing.
Another example… One of Anne’s Sunday school teachers just out of college has been struggling with joblessness and a sense of purpose. But in this season of uncertainty she has built a network of single girls in her same season, organized a babysitting club, and because of her connections – has found me help for the summer. She is a blessing.
And lastly, a dear friend who is experiencing a season of freedom after years of financial hardship was sharing her wisdom with me. I lamented to her, “I want wings, but I feel God’s hand pressing me down.” And she reminded me… even though her newfound freedom is a gift, it is also a temptation to fly away from the nearness of God. “Slow down, Kathryn. Cherish His nearness.”
Where would I be without the body of Christ? Thankfully, I do not have to live in isolation. God has a better way!
Crayons In My Water 
Kathryn, I know you often have feelings of despair! You look back on what happened and where you are now, but you still see obstacles. God is there for you to ask Him to give you the strength you need to ask others for help. There are not many of us who are able to make it through each day without some kind of help. God sees to our needs, as he’s seen to yours with these people who have come into your life with Anne! You’ve been truly blessed! Life is good and it’s gonna’ get even better for you and for Anne! I trust that you will hear these words and know that they come from God. Only he knows our future! We should be so thankful that God is always in control and sees to our every need!
Take one day at a time! Smile and be thankful for all that is yours!
God Bless!
;-)
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I too must remind myself that: When I ask for help, OTHERS are given a gift as well….that the blessings flow on BOTH sides of the equation….and when we do not ask, EVERYONE misses out.
Thank you for sharing about how these two folks are embracing where they are, and the resulting blessings of their choices: awesome stuff.
He truly IS with you thru ALL of this.
Sounds like you are on the “long dusty road” portion of the walk with Jesus….the walking BETWEEN hamlets/towns/events. Yet how wonderous, because in a way….you’ve got Him all to yourself!
May He be there in your aloneness, in your struggles, in your questions as well as in the answers….and may He let you know you are loved, in the love-language YOU speak.
Heart-Hugs & Prayer-Songs continue to flow………
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Kathryn, I know life must leave you with many struggles, but I just thank God for what I have seen in you and in Eric through all of this. You are great parents and are doing a wonderful job with you family. Love and pray for you all. Marlene
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Thank you Marlene!
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Your words continue to encourage and challenge me! God is at work in and through you.
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Thank you for sharing your heart, Kathryn. Your gift of communication so touches the hearts of others, including mine! I, too, am tempted to live in isolation when hurting, so I understand where you’re coming from.
May God bless you richly today,
Robin N.
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