Remember that last post I wrote… All about life swirling but how I’ve found a way to stay calm in spite of the chaos. Yeah. Well. That lasted almost two whole days. And then I messed up my van.
Yes, there was swirling, much swirling – like my head when it spun so fast ’cause I was so mad at myself. Lesson learned – never write about inner peace again. Never.
I was getting gas. Just an ordinary day at QT – until some truck pulled up with a huge trailer – which blocked my quick exit. So when I finished filling up, I thought… no problem – I can get around this big trailer – I’ll just turn a bit and then SCREECH, SCRATCH – and…
My van was wedged on a big, yellow, metal post. I had to have two guys coach me on how to get out of the mess I created. And when I was finally free – I just took off without even saying, “thank you.”
Ugh. I was so mad and humiliated and mad. Did I mention I was mad? Here’s proof of my stupidity…
You might be thinking… “Oh that’s not so bad.” Well, check out the close-up view.
Beautiful isn’t it? I even have yellow paint details to highlight the damage. Great.
Eric wasn’t mad at all, but was so gracious to me; “It’s just a van, Kathryn.” But I loved my van. Eric worked so hard to find the best deal on this exact van in this exact color. And now I’ve messed it up, and I get to drive around town with evidence of my bad driving skills on display. Sigh.
I shared my sob story at bible study this morning. Everyone tried to cheer me up by sharing their stories…
“Well, I hit a fence at my kids’ school one time”
“Oh, I can top you. I side swiped my husband’s car.”
“Well, I left the gas station with the hose still attached. Beat that.”
That did make me feel better, actually :-) But seriously, why did I get so mad at myself? I make mistakes. I’m not perfect. Why does that surprise me? Anger is usually a sign of an idol. I did something stupid, and I got mad. I need to let go of this facade of being a “smart girl who has it together.” It’s just not true. So driving around with a messed up van is going to be good for me. It’s a reflection of who I am. I’m a scratch and dent model… and I’m (almost) okay with that ;-)