And the old becomes new.

As we approach 2 years post-accident, we have much to be grateful for…

I remember the first time anyone mentioned “brain damage” to me. It was Anne’s second week in the PICU, and she was still in a coma. The PICU nurse innocently said that her neurostorms were just part of the “brain damage.” I just sat and cried as I considered that Anne might have significant brain damage.

I remember when Eric said that he couldn’t ever imagine Anne talking again. I couldn’t imagine her not talking! But a month after the accident when she did begin to talk, it was evident that Anne had significant brain damage. Even her voice sounded different. It still does.

When Anne came home from the hospital, I began to wrestle with how to grieve the old Anne – while at the same time – hoping for parts of her to return. Now I know that the old Anne is gone, and God has given us our new Anne. She is forever different. Even in heaven when she receives a new, unbroken body, her soul will be marked by learning to live with disability. She is simple, yet rich in spirit.

And now two years later, we are in a new house that has no memories of the “old” Anne. There is a finality about this new place. A finality that I am just now able to accept. We’ve been working toward this move for almost a year, and many times I wondered why it was taking so long to sell our old house… But God knew that I couldn’t handle leaving the place where I could see the old Anne in every corner. I loved that Anne. And I don’t see her in this house. There is no island where she would sit and pretend to cook. There is no fireplace where she would stand and sing for us. There is nothing in this house that reminds me of the “old” Anne. She is really …gone.

But. But.

God, in His great mercy has made her new. She is alive – and she is being transformed daily into a picture of God’s tender loving care toward us… his broken children. Anne is indeed special. And we are indeed blessed to know her.

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7 thoughts on “And the old becomes new.

  1. Hal & Cathy Friesen says:

    We hardly knew the “old” Anne and now we love and pray for the “new” Anne. God has taught us through you, her family. We’ll continue in pray for the five of you!

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  2. If anyone is in Christ…He is a new creation…the old has gone, the new has come. That’s what enters my mind when reading this. I love you Kathryn, I love you beautiful new Anne and I love your family! So many wonderful memories!

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  3. krista jackson says:

    Anne is indeed special…the old, and the new, and we are so blessed to have known them both….the new place will home many wonderful new memories with our new Anne…it will feel special, warm and “like home” in no time! Give her big hugs from Bella, Uncle Marc, and me.

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  4. Lucel-Melody Wings says:

    Lifting you up before the Father, sweet Mama.
    Thank You, for sharing your heart.

    There’s sooo much in your sharing, yet words just aren’t flowing, my heart is so full. Just holding you close.
    ‘Am Celebrating all you are and all you are becoming….as the heart of your family, and as an individual, AND as a Mama…….Praising Him for His watchcare, His love, and His transformative power.

    Old Anne will forever have a special place in your heart….a secret place known well between you and God, where you can smile together, grieve together….a place with it’s own quiet kind of treasure.

    And He will help you fall in love with Anne as she is today and is becoming, over and over and over again.
    As you are learning sooooo well: ALL of Anne is to be cherished.
    AND, right beside that thruth is the fact: He’s ever present to rinse away the suds of grief when they cloud your vision….and He’s there to comfort your heart and use all of it, to transform you into s Jewel beyond your wildest imaginings.

    Much Love, Warm Support, and of course Prayer-Songs steadily flowing….

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  5. Kathryn — I’ve been meaning to write and tell you that I absolutely loved this post. I’ve shared it with several people. I can so relate to the idea of the old becoming new… I would love to get together with you for coffee sometime. Please let me know if you’re ever available.

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