Some (not-so-profound) things I’ve learned…

I’ve learned a few things since Anne’s accident…

1. Anne does not have an “end-point.” In the early months after the accident, it comforted me to think that Anne had a fixed recovery period. Some therapists said one year… others said two years. But it’s been more than two years now, and Anne is still changing – and improving. None of us have “end-points.” I know I don’t! (At least I hope I don’t.) I would like to think I can still improve a little. What makes Anne any different? She will continue to grow and change her whole life. I’m good with that.

2. Anne needs to live life at a different pace than the rest of us. This seems obvious, doesn’t it? But I seem to forget this a lot – and Anne has a very inconvenient way of reminding me…

Like last Thursday afternoon when we had three scheduled activities back to back… Anne decided she needed to go to the bathroom between activity #1 & #2.

Now let me interject… This is wonderful!!!! She is consistently “dry” at home. She goes on the potty all the time at home now- WOO-HOO!!! This is great. Fabulous… Amazing! BUT. It takes her longer than most people to go to the bathroom. First, she has to get there. Then she has to get on the potty, and then she has to really concentrate to relax all of the right muscles – and of course, one of her siblings usually does something crazy to startle Anne – which means she has to start all over trying to relax all the right muscles. And sometimes it takes Anne 2 minutes and other times it takes Anne 15 minutes – but she eventually goes :-)

Well… last Thursday was a 15-minute-potty-day, and I was already running 15 minutes late because Activity #1 went long. So as Anne is sitting on the potty – trying to relax – I’m on the phone trying to figure out who is going to pick up Canon from school so I can get the girls to Activity #2. And then after Anne finally goes potty (HOORAY!) I can’t find Kate, because SHE IS HIDING FROM ME – because she doesn’t want to go to Activity #2 (which is the dentist).

I lost it. No, really, I lost it. The Screaming-Crying kind of losing it. And after I found Kate, and got us all in the car to go to the dentist (and had calmed down), Anne says to me, “Mommy, I think we need to pray.”

It’s all about pace. Anne needs margin, and sometimes I haven’t built-in enough for her, and that is not. good.

Thankfully, we survived Thursday and after considerable prayer and repentence for my screaming and crying… Friday was much better. Which leads me to the third thing I’ve learned…

3. Life is too short to stress over little things like being late. Sometimes we just need to step back, and gain a wider perspective. So on Friday, as I was racing into carpool to drop Canon and Kate off for school (with 1 minute to spare, thank-you-very-much), this song came on the radio. And I love this song. My friends were just chatting on the sidewalk, so I cranked it up, got out of my car and proceeded to dance. Sometimes, you just have to throw caution out the window – and live a little.

10 thoughts on “Some (not-so-profound) things I’ve learned…

  1. Love this post! How did I miss the dancing! You go girl! And yes…all our “end points” are the same…falling Jesus arms and being with him. “now I know part…but then I shall know fully”. Keep growing girl! That’s my prayer for me too


  2. Lucel-Melody Wings says:

    Hi Ya, Mom!
    I LOVE that you can “go outside your car and dance”. (You’d be surprised by how many lives you touched in that one joyful act—both by those who witnessed it, and by sharing about it here).
    I LOVE that you can seek forgiveness….and that you see children as people worthy of seeking it from (you’d be surprised by how many adults this would NOT occur to)…so again, simply by sharing, you are touching lives.
    I LOVE that you can “loose it totally”… well as own there’s another way… being fully human you are reminding others/giving others permission to do likewise.
    I LOVE that Anne saw thru all of it with simplicity, directness and grace. She has MUCH to teach us all.

    One of the many “best things” I’ve learned along the way is: I can start my day over anytime, and as many times as needed. This moment, or the last, does NOT have to “lock in” the tone of the next moment or the rest of the day/week/month/life.

    We are continually made new…how Amazing and Awesome is that?!

    Sending much love and warm support flowing in torrents your way, grin, and ALWAYS lifting each of you up.



  3. Dawn says:

    Love you! And Anne! And your sweet spirit always open and willing to be exposed. I totally would have danced with you, but reservedly, because I am not as evolved as you my friend. :) This particular song is now playing very loudly as I write to you and think of you, and it comes on around mile 3.25 (or so…). XO


  4. paulette says:

    i think you are always profound in your insights. thanks for sharing them with us! we could all use more margin, to stress less about the little things (emma told me yesterday that unless something matters for eternity she has decided not to let it upset her too much — i could do well to learn from her, too!), and to always see our need for Jesus…every. single. minute! may grace always be amazing to us!

    wish i had been there to dance…so proud of you for doing so!

    love you like crazy!


  5. Carol Inlow says:

    LOL! Sounds like you were trying to start a flash mob at the school. LOL! It would have been really cool if some of the other mom’s had joined you. It sounded like a fun thing to do. I love watching the flash mob dancing &/or singing at the malls, in the streets, in railroad stations, Etc. It is so cool. All you need is music & let it go, dance & sing your heart out. Your a real cool MOM!
    Love you, Carol


  6. Christy says:

    HA!!!! I see you, my friend! I’ve danced with you before and would’ve done it again in a heartbeat! Oh my gosh, how fun that would’ve been. Imagine the stares…as always, love you!


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