I’ve been a bit discouraged lately. I get so frustrated with myself when I’m discouraged – because it means that I’m relying more on my circumstances than on the word of God.
I think the main issue that has been discouraging me is Anne’s behavior. She’s just been rascally lately. Very contrary and sometimes… mean. There are a few reasons for this…
- Anne has frontal lobe damage. The frontal lobe controls executive function of the brain. This is the area that helps you use good judgment, promotes impulse control and helps you organize and plan. A healthy frontal lobe is crucial for independence. Anne does not have a healthy frontal lobe. It’s just extra hard for her to have self-control and make good decisions.
- Also, Anne’s self-awareness has improved. This is good. It is just more evidence that her brain is continuing to heal – but it also makes Anne sad and frustrated.
So, we keep plugging along day by day. When I get discouraged and overwhelmed, I have to force my eyes heavenward and focus on the present instead of worrying about the future.
Worry… I worry that I’m not doing enough to help her heal. I worry that I’m wasting precious opportunities to work with her because I’m tired. I worry. I worry.
What does Jesus say about worry? Oh yeah, it doesn’t help ;) And it’s also not of God. So, when I worry, I pray. That’s all I know to do right now!