Sometimes I sit down to write and just feel empty. Paul’s words, “Poured out like a drink offering,” come to mind – but I don’t pretend to be that godly ;)
I do know this (in the wake of Thanksgiving)… I am deeply grateful for my life and the many jobs God has given me.
I’m thankful to be Eric’s wife. He’s away on business and I miss him. It’s nice to miss someone you love.
I’m thankful to be a mom – to a growing teenage boy, a spunky tween girl and to my Anne. The other day I was looking into Anne’s face and realized that I can’t imagine Anne without her brain injury. The injury has seeped into the deeper places of her person. I can’t see the “old Anne” anymore. It’s just Anne. I think this is good. Not the injury. The injury will never be good. But God’s work in our lives – helping us to accept his goodness in spite of Anne’s injury – that is good.
I’m also thankful for my teaching gig. I like teaching Latin to middle schoolers. But what I like most is just being with the kids. I love watching them grow and hopefully playing a small role in nudging them toward the Savior.
So my empty feeling is a false alarm. I’m not empty. Only tired! And it’s the good sort of tired that comes after meaningful work.
Speaking of work, Anne starts another round of intensive therapy next week. Fifteen, four-hour therapy sessions will be spread out over the next month. My prayer is that she will begin to get stronger. She needs more strength to keep up with her growing body. I’ll post a few updates on her progress.
Lastly, I’m thankful for your prayers and all the encouraging words you have given me over the years. If you’re reading this, know that this journey is lighter because of you. I’m so grateful! -K
Crayons In My Water 
I am Thankful for you and for your willingness to allow us to be part of your world in these small ways (like prayers and sitting by your side as you travel this journey and the myriad of places it’s led, is leading, will lead).
I’m glad that Thankfulness has seeped in and become part of the norm right in the midst of the challenges. That deep kind of gratitude without qualifiers….It’s a shift that only time can grow, and only then when the willingness and openness is there.
I’m grateful….that you see Anne today–no longer having the constant reminder of what might have been vs what is….but simply are here in this moment. That’s far more huge than the few words used in your post.
I’ve longed for that for you and prayed that for you…..and while the Anne we once knew will always be part of our internal celebration, and thus the grief of loss equally real as well…….it is a relief to not have that constantly yelling in your face and reverberating thru your soul on a moment-to-moment basis.
I’m glad you are who you are and have the family that you have and the calling that He’s giving and His guidance along the way.
I realize this may sound incredibly odd, but there was a time when I envied you…both before and after Anne’s accident….yearned for some of even the ginormous difficulties you’ve carried, in turn for the other amazing things that don’t normally hit someone’s radar…..
and like you, I’ve grown to see the gift and deep value of the moments I am in……and how, when I’m willing to release what I thought things would look like, my life is rich and full indeed, in other yet equally valuable ways. (I hope it’s OK to have shared this thought here, and that it didn’t/doesn’t cause any kind of pain….but rather is simply a testament to the zillions of ways God uses you, that you know not of).
Much Love, Warm Support and Prayer-songs steadily flowing for all of you…..and particularly for Anne as she embarks on this Season of extra hard work….may the results be far greater than the desires of your hearts. And may He shine brightly, thru each of you, thru Anne, and thru whatever this hard work brings forth.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Merry Christmas.
God Bless!
LikeLike
We have been so blessed and blown away with your jaw-dropping steadfast encouragement and support. Thank you so much, Lu!
LikeLike
God bless you Kathryn I ran across your Caringbridge posts and your blog and realized. How I miss seeing you. my memories of our talks and sharing together are rich and bring good memories. your response to the trials you are having encourage me andgiveme hope
LikeLike
I miss the Akerman family so much!! You all had such a profound influence on my spiritual life. I’m so grateful for you all!!
LikeLike
Kathryn This journey has been so awesome and encouraging to me. I was blessed from the beginning to see God’s hand at work in Anne, your family, our church family and, I am sure, many others. As a “newby” at ChristChurch Church, I remember the call to meet at church and pray. That time was immensely meaningful to me, as I may fault when it comes to allocating enough time in the Word, but I begin praying as soon as I am awake in the morning . As a late comer to the faith, I was amazed that I could talk to God directly. So, Anne helped me see this church would be my home, that I could pray earnestly for a child I had never met and He heard my prayers , that I could witness His mercy, that I could grow to love that child who was a representation of His love, that I could grow to love her siblings as they poured out their love to her, that I could grow to love her Dad as he kept his family together, that I could grow to love her Mom as she remained humble and transparent as she grew closer to her church family and to God. I know it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, but please know I love you and am thankful for your honesty and willingness to share your heart. James 4:10, Ephesians 4:2 Love , Ruth
Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE Device
LikeLike
This is such an encouragement to me. So humbling and makes me so grateful for God’s work in spite of us ;)
LikeLike
Kathryn, you are not empty, you are full of God’s glorious love and devotion that simply needs to stop and refill from you Father’s overflowing, unending grace and love for you and your family. The words that flow from you cannot come from an empty vessel. God is using you through your writing, your experience, your own character, in a mighty way.
Thank you for sharing who you are.
We love you, Eric and the family so much. We are so proud that with everything in your life, you have allowed it to make you a godly woman and not a scorned and bitter woman.
We miss you all so much and look forward to seeing you hopefully in January.
“Not by might nor power but by My Spirit,” says the Lord of hosts. Zechariah 4:6. God’s provision and grace is enough.
Love you, Sue
LikeLike
Thank you, Sue! We miss you and can’t wait to see you!
LikeLike
Dear Kathryn,
I read your post on Facebook this morning.
Your family’s journey with Anne has altered all of your lives forever. What you have endured collectively and individually is incomprehensible to me. I have never been asked to suffer in this way–watching a child’s slow and sometimes excruciating recovery.
Suffering carves deeply into our souls and creates great capacity for either bitterness or for the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. When I read your blog, I witness the fruit of the spirit in you and I say–praise God who has sustained the Jackson family day by day through the word, the Spirit, prayer and the fellowship of believers.
I know you will keep us posted on Anne’s next round of therapy. May your hindsight into God’s past faithfulness strengthen you as you face future unknowns.
LikeLike
your attitude blesses me Kathryn.
LikeLike