Author: kathryn

kathrynhttps://prayforanne.wordpress.comTeacher, servant & child of God
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Surrender

God has me in a very good place – one of surrender. Every morning, I ask God to keep me here, and I ask for the grace to surrender Anne to Him (again) and leave her with Him for the day.

This place of surrender is one that I could have NEVER come to on my own. It is a glorious place to be. Surrender brings peace -true peace. A peace that rises above circumstances and rests on the promises of a good God. I don’t know how long God will let me stay here, but I’m trying to drink as much as I can while I can :-)

Meanwhile, Anne seems to be flourishing. Her attention is improving. Her abilities to ask appropriate questions and make conversation are improving. Her hand to mouth impulses are still strong, but have decreased slightly. She’s warm, engaging and fun to be around. Her stream of consciousness chattering is distracting in group situations, but is delightful at home.

Overall, we’re just so thankful for the person God is shaping her to be. We’re still praying for her to be able to participate in group activities with appropriate behavior, for her to be able to walk and use her left hand – but mostly for her to experience the joy of God’s presence on earth and for her life and spoken testimony to glorify Him.

Thank you for joining us in prayer, and for loving Anne and our family through this journey. – kathryn

Slow progress

Anne just completed her 4th week of day rehab. It’s a drop-off program, so I don’t get to see her in therapy. Each day the therapists write brief journal entries about Anne’s progress, but it’s just not the same as being there…

At home, Anne seems more controlled. She communicates more clearly what she wants and needs. She sits with more stability and inhibits her impulse to grab and pinch everyone :-) She still has a long way to go, but we are hopeful that Anne will be able to participate well in group activities like school and church.

Anne is also showing more emotion, which is an excellent sign that she is healing. She’s been expressing both joy and sadness. I’ve seen her smile so big that both sides of her mouth turn up and her whole face brightens. That’s a glorious sight! But she’s also been saying “I’m sad” alot lately…

We’re praying for:

  1. Anne to be able to inhibit her impulse to mouth everything so that she can develop the fine motor skills necessary to write
  2. for Anne’s muscle tone to decrease in her ankles and calves so that she might be able to walk, and
  3. for Anne to have joy from experiencing God’s love and care for her.

Thank you for walking this journey with us… -kathryn

THANK YOU!

Ok. Someone that I’ve never met just dropped by my house -with lunch – and she APOLOGIZED for being late. Amazing… Eric and I are continually blown away by the generosity of others.

I’ve given up trying to write thank you notes. I was keeping a list, but it’s become overwhelming. In addition to the myriads of cards and flowers we’ve received, people have given:

bandaids, medicines, shampoo, kids’ snacks, toilet paper, groceries, meals, lawn care, bibs, blankets, potty seats, suction bowls, car seats, car-seat protectors, car organziers, bath mat, spill proof bowls, travel trays, swim suit, spill mat, cash, checks, fundraisers, books, crafts for kids, t-shirts, home decor items, cds, books on cd, workbooks, child-care, vitamin waters, visits, phone calls and lots of prayer!

I’m sure I’ve forgotten something :-)

We’re so grateful – deeply grateful actually. It’s still hard to believe the sheer quantity of people who have pitched in to help us. It’s humbling and an honor all rolled up together. Most importantly, it’s freed us up to concentrate on Anne.

THANK YOU ALL! -kathryn, (for all of us Jacksons)

Good times…

Anne’s had a really good weekend… Actually we’ve had two good weekends in a row.

We went to the lake with friends last weekend. It was glorious. Anne did great riding in the boat. It was so good for all of us to be in a beautiful setting enjoying the outdoors.

On the boat with Daddy

This weekend was more low-key, but still good. Since Anne is in rehab T/W/Th, she has 4 straight days at home. We try to make sure she stands and walks every day using her braces. Her siblings shower her with love, and Anne seems very content and happy at home.

Yesterday, she participated in Children’s Church for the first time. She can’t inhibit her talking; she just chatters her stream of consciousness thoughts :-) She colored a little bit – some scribbles, circles and lines. And she only managed to eat the crayon once!

Hopefully, she’ll learn to inhibit her impulses. Lack of inhibition is actually one of her biggest issues right now. Grabbing, biting, chewing, talking – these all need to be inhibited in order for her to participate in group activities. She’ll get there…

Today, we plan to spend a little time at the pool, come home for a nap and catch up on laundry. It’s nice to have the whole family together again :-)

-kathryn

Stomping and Staring…

So sorry that I haven’t updated the site in a while… Simply put, I just feel sad. I miss Anne when she’s at rehab. I miss the old Anne when she’s at home. The physical demands of caring for Anne coupled with the emotional work of grieving is just exhausting.

I feel like God is prompting me to accept the fact that the old Anne is just that – old. And then to trust Him to make the new Anne better than she was before… But I’m resisting.

I feel like Kate when she gets mad. She stomps her feet and looks at me with a real mean stare. It takes all of my will-power not to laugh at her! Clearly her stomping and staring do nothing to sway my will. I still know best – whether she likes it or not ;-)

I know God knows best, but I don’t like it right now, and I just want to stomp my feet a little longer. But I won’t stomp long – it’s just too painful…

Only God has the power to heal and shape Anne. He loves her and has good plans for her – plans to prosper her, to give her a future and a hope.

God is near – even when I’m stomping and staring.

Praying unceasingly for little Anne – kathryn

Slow and steady…

Anne continues to make slow but steady progress. Frankly, it’s hard for me to pinpoint specifics because I see her everyday, but those who see her less frequently assure me that she is improving :-)

Since caring for Anne at home, there are certain areas that are physically difficult for both Anne and me. I’ve found myself praying specifically for two things…

  1. That her muscle tone in her legs (which is extremely tight due to her brain injury) would decrease so that she might be able to control her legs and walk, and
  2. That she would resist the impulse to put everything in her mouth and also to drop her food on the floor!

As you can imagine, meal times are a bit stressful, but Anne has made improvement here too – instead of throwing EVERYTHING on the floor, she only throws about half. Slow and steady, slow and steady :-) There WILL come a day when she eats normally again!!

Congnitively, Anne, again, is steadily improving. One of her PT’s commented to me today that everytime she sees Anne, Anne seems to be a little more aware and ‘alive.’

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We are constantly amazed at the sacrifice of time, gifts and talents so many of you have blessed us with. It’s been a profoundly rich blessing for our family.

Taking one day at a time… -kathryn

Given to me twice

Yesterday – my friend, Hilarie Jones, wrote in the guestbook in response to my last journal entry… “Passionate and complex or docile and simple she is still your same little Anne – a precious gift from God – given to you twice.”

Have you ever read something – and immediately the Holy Spirit uses it to transform your heart in an instant? Well, that’s what Hilarie’s comment did for me…

Reading her words reminded me of when I was pregnant with Anne. During the whole 1st half of the pregnancy, I was convinced Anne was a boy. Mainly, because I was terrified of having a girl! At that point in my life, I had been wrestling with daddy/daughter and feminity issues, so not only did I feel incompetent, but incapable of raising a girl. When the ultrasound tech said she was a girl, I wept. I felt like God was saying, “Kathryn, I entrust you with this girl, because I am sufficient.” It was like a personal promise to equip me for the task and also to heal my emotional woundedness – which He has faithfully done over the last five years…

So now God, in His tender mercies, is giving me Anne again – bit by bit, strand by strand, layer by layer. I feel like God is calling me to savor each part of her as I wait for Him to reveal his masterpiece (called Anne) in His timing. What a sweet gift!

-kathryn

Looking back…

I just spent a little time re-reading Anne’s journal entries from the last few months…

She has come so far. I needed to be reminded of God’s faithfulness because I’ve been feeling discouraged lately. I shouldn’t :-) I realized today that God has restored Anne to exactly where she needed to be to come home. She can sit, and she is emotionally stable. Those were my two main prayers for Anne, and God answered.

I guess I’ve just been a little sad watching Anne at home. She’s so docile… and simple. Anne used to be volatile and complex, so it’s tough for me to have such a different child at home. I miss my passionate Anne…

God is good. If Anne were her passionate self, I know she wouldn’t be handling her physical limitations as well as she is now. I just pray that Anne will continue to progress – that I will one day see my passionate and complex Anne again. I miss her terribly.

…trying to focus on God’s faithfulness -kathryn

Day Rehab…

Wow! Day Rehab is awesome!! All the therapists work together as a team to accomplish Anne’s goals. The support staff is amazing – even working with Anne during the entire lunch hour to keep her food off the floor and in her mouth :-)

The best thing about Day Rehab is that at the end of the day, Anne gets to go HOME!

Anne after her 1st day at Day Rehab

Please pray for wisdom for all of Anne’s primary therapists as they evaluate her over the next two days. Based on their evaluations, they’ll set her goals and determine their course of action.

Our prayer for Anne is that she will be writing, reading and walking by the time she leaves Day Rehab. For that to happen, she needs to make drastic improvements in her focus and attention skills. We’ll see what God does :-)

-kathryn

Anne’s at HOME!!!!!

I expected to be very emotional when we left the hospital, but I wasn’t. I didn’t cry until we pulled into our driveway and saw balloons, streamers and “Welcome Home Anne” signs. We do have good friends.

Lunch was a comedy of errors. Anne continually dropped her food on the floor. Kate, being the helpful sister, would pick it up. But every time Kate bent over to pick up Anne’s food, Anne would grab her hair. About this time, the Orkin man shows up to spray for bugs. Great.

Anne and Kate are now having a ‘not-so-quiet’ quiet time in their room right now. Both of them need to rest, but I think they’re too excited to do so. Anne seemed very happy to be in her room. It was heart-warming to see.

We’ll start day-rehab on Monday. They’ll spend three days evaluating Anne and then we’ll make a plan based on her current progress, future goals and insurance coverage. Until then, we plan to relax at home and maybe try to go to the pool. Anne loves the water :-)

-kathryn