Prayer requests

Unknown…

I feel like that word describes most of my life right now.

Will Anne ever walk again? Unknown
Will Anne ever NOT need diapers? Unknown
Will Anne ever progress past Kindergarten material? Unknown
Where will Canon and Kate go to school next year? Unknown
Will Anne grow out of her temper-tantrum phase? Unknown
How will God provide for all of our needs? Unknown

I could go on and on and on. I’ve never felt so out of control in my whole life.

From a wide angle perspective, that’s a good place to be… broken and dependent on God’s perfect provision. But from a narrow, nitty-gritty perspective – well, lots of colorful adjectives come to mind, but I’ll just say… it’s hard.

Bottomline… I’m struggling with trust. Sweet Canon was weeping over Anne the other day, and I go into my speech about how we are in a dark tunnel, and it’s a hard place to be, but the tunnel WILL END, and God is with us in the tunnel. And Canon just cried, “But I don’t feel Him in the tunnel. Where is He?” And I just held him tight and said nothing, because I’ve been feeling the same way.

Truth vs. feelings… Do we trust in the staff of God’s word? I will never leave you or forsake you… I am with you always. I delight over you. Have I not commanded you…be strong and courageous, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from You, maker of heaven and earth.

Thank you to everyone I see that tells me that you follow us on Caring Bridge. It’s a reminder to me that we are not alone on this journey, but we have myriads of God’s people praying for us.

Would you please pray for the following:

  1. That there would be an end to diapers. That Anne would learn to use the potty again.
  2. That Anne would gain endurance and not get SO tired and difficult in the evenings.
  3. That Anne’s attention and impulsivity would continue to improve.
  4. That Anne’s desire to break the rules would wane, and her desire to obey and do what is best would improve.
  5. That Anne would sense God’s presence and know His love for her
  6. That God would give us wisdom for Canon & Kate’s schooling.

Finally, Anne has been talking alot about what she wants to be when she grows up. Amazingly, her list of professions is the same as it was before the accident. She either wants to be a “cooker” or a “teacher.” Cooking and playing school were her favorite activities this time last year. In fact, the morning of the accident, Anne had taken over the entire kitchen creating one of her crazy concoctions. It was almost time to pick up Kate from pre-school, and I said, “Anne, we have to leave soon. Please clean up EVERYTHING…now.” And she obeyed immediately, with no complaints. Sweet, precious Anne. I’ve been praying lately, that she would grow up to be a teacher. I would love it, if others prayed that for Anne too :-)

Thank you! -kathryn

Good conversation

Little Anne’s conversation seems, ever so slightly, more appropriate…

Every night little Anne and I pray together. We pray for lots of things including her relationship with God, her healing mentally, and her progress physically. She always asks me in the middle of my prayer: “Dada, can I pray?” After an immediate ‘Yes’, she always prays the same thing: “Thank you for Dada, Amen”. I never really thought much about her prayer, until a few nights ago – and I realized, on so many levels, what a wonderful blessing that tiny prayer is to me. Tonight, something wonderful happened, Little Anne made her expected request, then prayed: “I pray that I would be able to run, and dance and sing, even though I already know how to sing. And thank you for the trees, Amen”. Wow, something new and different from her prayer!

Kate (our 4 yr old) normally complains about going to her weekly speech therapy appointment. Last week Kate announced how excited she was about going to speech. Upon hearing Kate’s change of heart, Anne said: “but Kate, I thought you didn’t like going to speech therapy”.

When Kathryn was reading books to Anne while sitting on the floor, Anne blurted out: “Mommy I am having so much fun!”

Individually, these items seem tiny at the point of each event, but they add up to tell a significant story of God’s healing. Only a couple of months ago, little Anne would not have been capable of such suitable and fitting comments, but God continues to do His good work in Anne!

We are thankful for:

  1. Our family who walks with us each step of the way
  2. Our friends and church who truly care and constantly reach out to us
  3. The amazing small group of therapists God has called to work with Anne

We would cherish your prayers with us for:

  1. God to grip Anne’s heart for all of her days, and for Anne to know God in the most profound way
  2. Anne’s attention to improve and her impulsivity to decrease
  3. To make great strides in her walking

-eric

Waiting and Celebrating

It has been a glorious day! It’s been filled with good friends, laughter, encouraging words and even some tears.

Eric and I had the privilege of attending a friend’s wedding. She is in her 50’s and was married for the first time today! Over the last six months, as I’ve shared in her engagement and wedding planning – her story of waiting – has been such an encouragement to me. It was such joy to see all of her waiting culminate in this beautiful wedding day!

Anne’s former Sunday School teacher, Ms. Debbie came over to care for Anne. Anne – with all of her new emotions emerging – screamed as loudly as you can imagine a petite six year old to scream – MS. DEBBIE! MS. DEBBIE! MS. DEBBIE!! Anne had a good day filled with Ms. Debbie’s boundless energy and enthusiasm.

Eric and I were so encouraged to see both current and old friends at the wedding – many of whom follow Anne’s story on Caring Bridge. These friends shared significant, comforting words with us. We left very full.

One friend (whose late husband worked with head injury patients) confirmed what I’ve observed in Anne. Most head injury patients are different than their former selves. God has chosen to leave Anne on this earth – but he has left her as a completely different child than she was before. Grieving the old Anne is very painful, but it is sweet to have hope in the Creator for new Anne’s future. It is exciting to wait and watch how God builds and grows this new Anne.

So what does life look like now that Anne has graduated from Day Rehab? …We are waiting. Due to all the evaluations that have to take place, Anne probably won’t start school until late 2010/early 2011. We are waiting to start outpatient therapy until insurance details are solidified. So Anne is at home for a little while. I think it’s a good time of rest for all of us.

So we wait and rest. Please pray that we might strike the right balance between rest and work – as I try to stretch Anne both physically and cognitively each day. And pray that God would move people to come alongside us during this interim period – to provide exactly what Anne needs for this stretch of her journey.

Thank you! -kathryn

Smart Girl!

We have a little game of riddles that we play as a family. I read the following riddle and ANNE guessed the answer before Canon or Kate had any idea. See the bottom of the post for the answer: “After a shower you may see someone who is wet holding me. Like wind in your hair you feel me, but much more controlled you will be.”

Canon and Kate were trying to remember the verse 2 Peter 1:21. While they were struggling, Anne spoke up and said it perfectly! We all just looked at each other and all hugged Anne!!

We have noticed that little Anne seems to have all of her smarts and intellectual ability, but her capacity for appropriate responses can at times be hidden behind her inattention and impulsivity.

Our little Anne now has the distinguished crown as the LOUDEST person in our family! It is really quite amazing considering that for so long Anne was so flat, monotone, and quiet. Now, she is so the opposite. So much joy and emotion. She really loves to yell and scream for joy with laughter and smile. She really gets excited when we play music!

We are praying for:

  1. Anne’s oral fixation, impulsivity, and inattention to decrease
  2. Standing and walking
  3. Anne’s heart to be filled with God

answer: hair dryer

eric

Graduation time!

Tomorrow is Anne’s last day of Day Rehab. They’ll even hold a graduation ceremony for Anne at the end of the day!

The Day Rehab program has been excellent for Anne, but Eric and I both feel good about Anne moving to the next phase of her therapy. She’ll transition to more traditional out-patient therapy. She’ll also go to Kindergarten in the public school system – where they are more equipped to serve Anne.

I don’t know what our new normal will look like. It seems like we will be juggling lots of therapy appointments with school and rest. Poor Anne still gets so tired.

We’re praying that God will bring just the right people into Anne’s life that He can use to push her forward in her recovery. She needs firm, kind therapists and teachers. She needs an especially good speech therapist that will help her reach her potential as she continues to struggle with low attention and increased impulsivity.

There are so many unknowns. I have felt very overwhelmed this week. God has met me through the kindness of friends who drop everything to come help me do laundry, or watch the kids or bring me lunch.

Even though I feel anxious about all the unknowns, Eric is so good about reminding me of what is true. God KNOWS – and He is doing good for our family.

Thank you for praying with us… for just the right people to help Anne – and for the grace to believe in God’s good plan for Anne and our family. Thank you – kathryn

CT Scan & fluid

Anne had a CT Scan and an appointment with her neurosurgeon yesterday. (By the way… Her neurosurgeon is AWESOME!) Anne’s got a little fluid on the left side of her brain. This is common with TBI patients, and her doctors have been monitoring it closely.

Her scan from yesterday showed that the fluid had increased slightly. If it continues to increase, she will need surgery to remove the fluid. Her neurosurgeon wants to monitor her brain closely, so she’ll have another scan in a few weeks.

Can you guess what our prayer request is? Yes, please pray that the fluid will decrease, so Anne does not have to endure another surgery.

Thank you :-) -kathryn

5 month update…

It’s been five months since the accident. Anne has made rapid improvement in so many areas – and we are now beginning to see what areas of her brain are the most affected by her injury.

Anne struggles most with attention. This affects everything she does, thinks and says. It’s difficult for her to hold a thought for very long and for her to focus on a task without getting distracted. Her lack of attention has a negative impact on all areas of her rehab – she can’t focus to walk, or put a puzzle together, or wait her turn. She actually has so many strengths. Her memory is in tact; she has excellent reasoning skills; she remembers how to read simple words, but her lack of attention prevents her from doing what she knows how to do – or from learning how to do new tasks.

Another area in which Anne struggles is impulsivity. Lack of attention and impulsivity go hand in hand. Whatever Anne thinks, she does. She doesn’t have the focus to inhibit her impulses.

Actually, her impulsivity has improved dramatically over the last few months, but it’s still an issue for Anne. Thankfully, Anne doesn’t think too much about inappropriate things. She cares about people, and that is demonstrated in her impulsivity. Let me give you an example:

Last night we were at the ballfield waiting for Canon to finish practice. She asked everyone who walked by, “What’s your name?” If someone stopped to answer, she would engage them in conversation and then as the person started to walk away, Anne would say, “Will you give me a hug?” Anne got lots of hugs last night :-)

These are impulsive behaviours from a very sweet six year old. We are so thankful for Anne’s innocent spirit and her ability to endear herself to others!

Please pray that:

  1. Anne’s attention would increase so that she could work hard to get better,
  2. Anne’s impulsivity would decrease so that she could communicate more effectively to her peers and others, and
  3. For Anne to KNOW God’s love and care for her.

Feet, tricycles and blessings

To continue from our last update. . . . if we work and stretch Anne’s ankles and feet, little Anne is able to place her bare feet on the floor (without her braces!) perfectly flat and stand while we hold and balance her! She yelps the whole time in mild protest, but that just fits with who little Anne is.

At rehab, Anne’s therapists ace bandage her hands to the handlebars of a little tricycle, then strap her feet to the pedals. She has been able to only go around 350 degrees – she always stops in the same place. . . until recently . . . . now she is able to keep pedaling! This shows she can contract and relax her leg muscles in an alternating fashion, like what is required with walking.

We visited Grandad and Grandmom (Papa and Nana). Little Anne so loves her Nana and Papa. It was good to see them dote on her and for her to soak it up. During church, while Nana was speaking from the pulpit, little Anne yelled out multiple times – NANA! NANA! Afterward, Nana, said that she loved Anne cheering her on :-) . We cringed during this worrying that she was disturbing the quiet; others saw it as a blessing.

Kathryn and i work hard at staying in the present. It is so easy for us to worry about a future where Anne may not make it back mentally. She has come so far – it hasn’t even been 5 months. i must admit that it seems like years. We see God’s good hand at EVERY turn. This morning Anne was surrounded by the Bratcher and McKinney girls – they all loved on her and cuddled with her and talked to her. God had a good plan before the foundations of the earth and in that plan included a morning such as this – all for little Anne – just to bless her and show me that HE cares about even the little things, and especially Anne.

Please keep praying:

  1. That her walking will continue to improve
  2. That her focus and attention will improve so that she can particpate in group activities
  3. That God will give her a clear and crisp mind, and
  4. That she would be aware of God’s presence and care for her.

-eric