April 13th is one week away. I’m not doing very well as I approach that day… Basically, I’m going into mole-mode – where I just want to bury myself in a tunnel and pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. My poor children – it’s all I can do just to keep the house running these days.
But that’s grief. It’s very familiar to me, so I’m not panicking. The laundry is in piles now, but I’ll come out of it eventually and catch up :-) And somehow (by God’s grace) I look back at the end of each day and see that dinner got fixed, the house is semi-neat and the kids have clean clothes. There’s even a little energy left for tickles and crafts – that’s all God.
April 13th represents two very different realities for me. 1st – it’s the day that God saved Anne’s life! After reading through all the medical records from that day – it’s a miracle she survived. But 2nd – that day represents the end of the “old” Anne. Brain injury patients are never the same after their injuries… Some might think that she is like her old self – just with a disabled body. No, her entire personality is different – wonderful – just different.
So, that day represents death and life to me. And right now, I just don’t want to think about any of it. You could pray for me. That would be nice :-)