This past Sunday was my week to sing in the worship ensemble at church. It’s rare that I love all the songs we sing on a given morning. There might be one song that really resonates with me …on a good Sunday, maybe two or three – but never all of them :-) But this past Sunday was different. It’s like Greg (our worship director) handpicked my favorite songs – interspersed them with my favorite scripture – and then asked the Holy Spirit to give me a supernatural ability to hear all the harmonies so I could sing without thinking too hard. It was amazing :-)

Here’s a recap of my morning…

The first song, “Whate’er my God Ordains is Right” was an old hymn written in the 1600’s that Greg had set to a different tune. I had sung this song once before in ensemble – before our accident. The lyrics are difficult – centering around submission to God in “dark” circumstances, yet Greg had written a light, joyful melody. It didn’t seem to fit… But now, singing it after Anne’s accident, I found myself loving the tune, and then Greg opened the service with an explanation. He said, “I wrote the melody to this song during a season of difficult circumstances in my life when I was struggling with submission. I was either going to die in my rebellion and anger towards God or I could choose to submit to Him, by grace. As I chose to submit, I realized that joy is found in surrender, so that is why I wrote this tune.”

Whate’er my God Ordains is Right
His Holy Will Abideth.
He leads me by the proper path
I know He will not leave me.
I take content with what He has sent.
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day.

As I sang this song, I looked over to where Eric was sitting with Anne. He was leaning close, whispering in her ear, and she was smiling. I take content with what He has sent.  At that moment, I realized that I really meant what I was singing …If you knew how I’ve been struggling with contentment lately… well, that is God’s grace working to change my heart, folks!

The next song, I’ve actually written about before… “Our God Saves”  The chorus is my cry of hope for Anne:

Our God Saves. Our God Saves.
There is hope in His Name.
Mourning turns to songs of praise.
Our God saves. Our God saves.

And then we went right into “Come, Now is the Time to Worship.” And my focus shifted from Anne – to Jesus. I stopped looking for her in the congregation and by the time we sang the last verse of the next song, “My Soul Finds Rest” – my thoughts were solely on Him.

I’ll set my gaze on God alone,
And trust in Him completely.
With every day pour out my soul,
And He will prove His mercy.

And then. And then, we sang the song of all songs. The You Tube recordings don’t do it justice. Greg rocks this song OUT. By the time we got to the chorus, the whole building was shaking…

Oh Lord I hunger for more of you.
Rise up within me; let me know your truth.
Oh Holy Spirit, saturate my soul.
And let the life of God fill me now.
Let Your Healing Power breathe life and make me whole
And let the peace of God – let it reign.

I know that chasing after anything other than God does not satisfy. I can be so angry at Him because of my circumstances, but He is my only source of comfort, joy and peace. This past year has been a rhythm of me resting in God and running from God. Running and resting. I just want this dance to end. God’s Healing Power is evident in Anne physically, but I was singing (begging) for His Healing Power for me and Anne spiritually. Saturate my soul, God. And let your peace reign!