My Year Through the Bible: Day 2

Genesis 3-5; Matthew 2

Ugh. Genesis 3 has to be the saddest chapter in the whole bible. Talk about a choice with far-reaching consequences. Adam and Eve’s disobedience destroyed the perfection God intended and now every human who has ever lived on this earth knows the “fallenness” that is this world. Anne is living proof that our world is not as God intended…

But have you ever wondered… after Adam and Eve ate the fruit and were hiding from God in shame, why would God (who is all-knowing) ask, “Where are you?” Not to sound irreverent, but doesn’t that seem like a stupid question? God totally knew where they were. And then God goes on to ask more questions he already knows the answer to: ““Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

I’ve always wondered why God asks these questions, and not long ago, I was reading a book by Nancy Guthrie, and she gave me a very satisfying answer…

Here we see one of the first pictures in Scripture of what our God is like personally. He takes the initiative to seek after sinners. …God didn’t question the Serpent. There was no need for that since there was no possibility of his redemption (Guthrie, The Promised One, pp 74, 75).

God longs for us to repent. He longed for Adam and Eve to repent, but “instead of making a brokenhearted confession, [Adam] offered an excuse” (Guthrie, The Promised One, p 75).

Which brings me to a very hard passage of Scripture in Matthew 2. After Jesus was born… “[Herod] killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under” (Matthew 2:16). That wouldn’t have happened if Jesus hadn’t been born. The very child that was born to save us from our sin magnified the sin in Herod’s heart so that Herod chose to slaughter… babies. Those poor families. The grief of the mothers. The whole community shattered by the fury of one man.

Yes, the disobedient choice of Adam and Eve has far-reaching effects. Should I wonder how it would have been different if they had repented? No, I think that’s futile. I think a better endeavor is to wonder how my life will be affected if I, a lowly sinner, choose to repent instead of make excuses. Yes, that seems like a good thing to think about…

P.S. You can follow the rest of my journey through the bible at bible365blog.com

My Year Through the Bible: Day 1

Genesis 1-2; Matthew 1

I love how Genesis 1 is an overview of the seven days of creation and Genesis 2 zooms in to give more detail – especially re: Day 6. When I read Genesis 2, I imagine God as a loving, meticulous artisan… Listen to the verbs:

formed
breathed
planted
caused

And God’s most amazing creation happened on Day 2… forming woman, of course!! (That was a joke, by the way;-) Female-ness makes an appearance in Matthew 1, as well, where we see the surprising addition of women in Jesus’ genealogy. Tamar, Rahab and Bathsheba (Uriah’s wife) all have scandalous stories, and i believe they are mentioned in the family of Christ as a reminder that no one is outside the reach of God’s amazing grace.

And amazing grace is what I will need to continue my journey. Day 1 – check. 364 to go…

P.S. You can follow the rest of my journey through the bible at bible365blog.com

Pray for Anne…

January 2013’s prayer requests:

Please pray for Anne…

  1. For self control and a Spirit-empowered hunger and thirst to do what is best and right,
  2. For Anne to feel valuable,
  3. Finally, pray for God to show us his great, great love and goodness to Anne.

Thank you!

Lost December

I’m just tired of being sad. This December, I sorta went into an apathetic shell. Thinking back, I think I was just protecting myself from the grief that comes around the holidays. But that shell just got sandblasted. I just need to learn that it is okay to be sad during December.

In 30 short minutes, a new year will be here, and I feel a bit sad. But I’ll say that sadness is a notch better than apathetic, because at least I’m feeling something :-)

But don’t worry. God is here. He always is.

May Anne continue to make progress in 2013! And here is my list of “gratefuls” for 2012.

Key Lime Pie
Good neighbors
Anne’s crooked smile
Eric’s job
Canon’s enthusiasm
Special time with Kate
Therasuit Therapy
Erin and Stacy at church
French Horns… (I love the melancholy tone of a french horn)
Late night movie watching with Eric
My Wednesday bible study group
Mrs. Bush (Anne’s para-pro)
my new iPhone

and finally… the story of Joseph (from the Bible).

God is good. Happy New Year.

My Year Through the Bible

I’m doing something crazy. I will probably fail. But I don’t care.

My friend Josh Irby’s blog has challenged me to… (in his words) do the hard thing. His latest post sealed the deal. I’m going for it.

I’m going to try to read through the bible in a year by reading a portion every day and blogging about it. Sounds simple, right? Hmphf.

Let me just say that consistency is my Achilles heel. This is a HUGE challenge for me. As I said before, I’ll probably fail (with hundreds of you to witness it) but fear of failure is a stupid reason not to try. Plus, I’m no Bible scholar, and I won’t pretend to be. But surely, I can learn something each day, right??? And if not, I can come up with some really good questions :-)

So here goes… We’ll see where this journey takes me.

P.S. I’m still planning to blog about Anne and her recovery. This is just my little side project ;-)

P.S.S. You can follow the rest of my journey through the bible at bible365blog.com

High Five!

Anne’s been struggling lately with feeling… in her words, “useless.”

She sees her brother and sister work together to clean up after dinner and she says, “I’m not a help. I’m useless.”

She compares herself to her peers and says, “I’m not good at anything. I’m useless.”

As you can imagine, Eric and I immediately tell her otherwise and we list all the ways she’s valuable. And we’ve noticed a trend. Her worth is in bringing others joy. She’s good at encouraging others, connecting with others, making others laugh.

A great example happened in church this morning… For the first time since the accident, Anne was able to participate in children’s choir. The children helped lead worship this morning, and after they finished singing their few songs, Anne (who was especially proud of herself) reached her hand out to her teacher and said loudly (so that everyone in the congregation could hear), “High Five!”

Do you know how many people commented to me about Anne’s “High Five” after church? Well… several. She’s a delight to others. And if you have a chance to tell her yourself – be sure to encourage her that she is not useless. She is a joy! At least we think so :)

Photo courtesy of Bobbi Jo Brooks Photography

Photo courtesy of Bobbi Jo Brooks Photography

Pray for Anne…

December 2012’s prayer requests:

Please pray for Anne…

  1. Anne’s greatest obstacle to reading is that she has great difficulty tracking letters left to right. Please pray for wisdom and direction as we try to find the best strategies to overcome this obstacle.
  2. Anne can get complacent and lazy. Please pray for her to put forth Spirit-empowered EFFORT to do well in school and therapy.
  3. Finally, pray that she would know and experience God’s great, great love for her and that she would have a deep sense of her worth to Him.

Thank you!

My rock

Eric and I recently celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary!

Photo courtesy of Bobbi Jo Brooks Photography

In the weeks leading up to the big day, the old feelings of grief and depression began to creep into my daily routine.

Anxiety.

A general feeling of being overwhelmed…

An oppressive weight on my chest.

This is what grief feels like to me. But… Our family is in such a good place. Anne is doing well. Eric and I are doing well. Everything is going so well… So, why the grief?

Out of desperation, I asked God to reveal to me why I was spiraling down into depression – and almost instantly, God showed me. I remembered back to our 10th wedding anniversary. The kids were 1, 3 & 5, and for the first time since becoming parents we went away by ourselves. We were so excited to go, but even more excited to come home to see our precious, little ones. They tackled us as we entered the door. I remember being on the floor, holding Kate in my lap with Anne jumping on my back. And then I understood where the grief was coming from. It is only 5 years later, but so much has changed. Life just doesn’t look like what I expected it to be…

Thankfully, when I understand the source of my grief, it usually loses its power over me, and within a few days I was back to normal – just in time to celebrate our 15 years of marriage with a genuine, joyful gratitude. But listen to how my conversation went with Eric…

“Eric, I think I’ve realized why I’ve been so down lately.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it all has to do with our 15th wedding anniversary. It’s just not how I expected it to be.”

Eric looked at me with a concerned stare, and I (naively) wondered why he didn’t understand. A few seconds went by and his look changed to understanding…

“This all has to do with Anne, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. What else would it be about?”

“Well, if I had a blog, I would write about how my wife just told me she was depressed because our 15 years of marriage wasn’t what she expected!”

He was chuckling as he said it :-) I’m so thankful for Eric’s perceptiveness. He understands me better than I understand myself sometimes. He is a gift – a committed, loyal rock of a man. His character is unmatched. I don’t know what I would do without him. I look forward to the next 15 years!

She’s a keeper.

It happened. Again. Somebody paid for our meal at a restaurant. It always moves me to tears.

I wonder what compels people to do this. Is it the little girl in a wheelchair? Is it how we interact with her? Or is it how she interacts with others? Whatever it is, sometimes, people are moved. And today, one lady was moved so much to pay for our lunch.

I know one thing. I think people instinctively know that there is something wrong with the world when they see a child in a wheelchair. Disability can represent the fact that we live in an imperfect world. But if you look beyond the physical, you’ll see a little girl who brings joy into others’ lives. Her very spirit exudes light and joy. You can’t help but smile when you are around Anne. God redeems the broken.

I’ve reached a place in this journey where my love and gratitude for our “new Anne” is stronger than my grief over the “old Anne.” I wouldn’t trade her. Yes, I think I’ll keep her ;-)

Anne won the race!

Each year, ACCA (the private school that all of our kids have attended at least once!) holds a Jog-A-Thon to raise funds and awareness for the school. The idea is simple… the kids solicit pledges/per lap and then try to run as many laps as possible in the 1.5 hour time frame. Each lap is 1/4 mile.

Last year, I pushed Anne in her jogger stroller. Everyone loves Anne, so she enjoyed all the people cheering for her as we ran. But I thought it was time to ramp it up a notch…

My goal for Anne was for me to help her walk 1 lap (which is 1/4 mile). It’s hard to put into words just how far this is for Anne. It’s significantly longer than she has ever walked before. So because the goal was so lofty, we started slow. We took lots of “sweet tea” breaks along the way. The kids cheered for her as they passed – Kate passed us 15 times!!! Three-quarters of the way through, Anne was so, so tired. I was tired too! (It’s tedious bending over to help Anne keep her balance…) But! Canon was there to encourage Anne to persevere :)  Anne never cried. Not. Once. Even though some steps seemed almost impossible, she had the best “can-do” attitude. The girl toughed it out, and after 45-long-minutes, she did it!!!!

Thanks to my friend Elizabeth Smith of Libbie Wicket for the great photos!

Anne at the finish line!!!

It felt like the whole school was cheering for Anne as she finished.

It was a family effort!

So, so proud of our sweet Anne!!!

Anne was so proud of her accomplishment. The whole family went out to celebrate, and Anne kept saying, “I won the race! But next year, I’m going to walk the whole lap by myself!!!” Now THAT is something I want to see!!!!