thankfulness

Another Spirit Night at Chick-fil-A

May 18, 2010… This was a date placed on the ACCA school calendar months earlier – the last Chick-fil-A “spirit night” of the year. Lots of schools do this sort of thing – a percentage of the profits goes to the school – good for business – good for the school. Everybody wins.

But that Spirit night was different. My little girl was in a hospital room – still unable to sit or speak. Barely a month removed from our accident – the community was still reeling. A student named Kelsey asked the school board if they would donate the proceeds from the Chick-fil-A spirit night to our family. A small school event turned into a community-wide gathering as the Chick-fil-A operator hosted two locations (instead of the usual one) and both restaurants were packed for the night. It was a cool story. I wrote about it here.

Tuesday was ACCA’s first Chick-fil-A spirit night of the year. I couldn’t help but think of the contrasts. Anne was with us –  sitting, eating, talking…conversing with people. She asked to see the “cow.” She asked for ice cream. She was with us. I knew WAY more people there than last time. I had relationships with so many families – because of Anne’s journey.

I’m thankful for this road God has led us down. So many heartaches – but they fade to memory in light of the many triumphs. We are so thankful. So. very. thankful.

Good Report

I asked Anne’s special ed. teacher if I could share an email she sent me today. I was encouraged by what she wrote!

I wanted to let you know that I spent a little bit of time today with Anne in her classroom. And she did a great JOB!! With assistance in walking to the front where Ms. S was modeling how to write a sentence, Anne wrote the word go. With hand over hand assistance she did the g and independently when told to make a circle did the o. Then with assistance Anne answered two questions during calendar time: the name of her school and also one other question, which I forget. She was cued (and little bit of assistance) to raise her hand and then called on. Anne needs some reinforcements to not talk out (combination of the cue cards and some verbal reminders) But, she is making great progress. I was so proud of her. :)

Last week, her school physical therapist wrote me that Anne walked farther than she ever had before (with a walker and assistance for propulsion). So that’s awesome!! On Friday, her kindergarten teacher pulled me aside to encourage me that she thought Anne was doing really well in class.

Anne has made a great start to the school year. We continue to be both deeply grateful for what God has restored in Anne and humbly hopeful that He still has more healing to do. …Thankful for today and hopeful for tomorrow – that is a good place to be!

Thank you for your continued prayers!!! -kathryn

Absentminded Professor

I’ve always been absentminded… but it’s been BAD lately!

  • I was supposed to lead music at Bible Study yesterday, but I forgot my guitar.
  • I was supposed to do lunch duty at Canon & Kate’s school today, and I just forgot to show up. ugh.
  • On my way to get Anne from school, I forgot to get gas.
  • When I got to Anne’s school, I ran out of gas.
  • A friend from Canon & Kate’s school just HAPPENED to be driving in the parking lot of Anne’s school.  She offered to help.
  • Anne lost her shoe. My friend found it.
  • I lost my phone. My friend helped me find it.
  • We got gas. My car cranked, and now I am at home. THANK GOD.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the one with the brain injury! But thankfully, God sent help at just the right time. His provision is perfect.

Back in the saddle…

Well, I’m teaching bible study tomorrow morning. It’s been a while since I’ve taught… so we’ll see how things go tomorrow.

I’m giving an overview of Biblical World View, Covenant Theology, the Church AND Biblical Womanhood. I told the gal who asked me to do this… “Yeah, all of that should take me about 10 minutes, and then I can teach everyone how to line dance the last hour or so.” I was kidding. I think it’s nuts to try to cover all of that in one lesson, but hey, I’m just doing what I was asked to do ;-)

There was one interesting point I stumbled upon while studying… Have you ever noticed that in the very beginning – when God created man and woman – and gave them jobs to do… (man – go work and keep the garden – and woman, you be a helper suitable for him) – that after they sinned, God cursed them with the exact opposite of their original good design. Woman will have desire for man (or desire to be over or control the man). And man will have toil all the days of his life – and in the end, he will return to dust. And what do women struggle with? Submission. And what do men struggle with? Toil-filled work and and a sense of purposelessness. No wonder life is hard. The curse of sin put in our hearts is the very opposite of what we were created and called to be! …And when did Jesus say He was coming back??? Oh yeah. He didn’t :-)

Thank you Jesus for reversing the power of sin and providing a way for us to draw near to you. Thank you for giving us the strength to persevere until that glorious day when you will come again!!

Ragamuffins

I went to my bible study at church for the first time in over a year this morning. The study has changed a lot since the time of Anne’s accident – all for good…

I was struck by the diversity of the women sitting around the table – and also by the openness… One widow who has a broken relationship with her son. A newlywed realizing that life is not a fairytale. Another newlywed – who is also a widow – experiencing a season of respite after many years of suffering. A woman celebrating her anniversary and the miracle of three adopted children. Another woman thankful for her 46 years of marriage. One expecting her first child. Another celebrating the marriage of her stepson, but still remembering the tragic death of her step daughter. And then there’s me… Absentminded mom to three – and one of those three happens to have a brain injury.

For all our differences, we have one interesting trait in common. We are all ragamuffins, broken vessels, tarnished daughters – but daughters, none the less! I’m more comfortable with others’ brokenness and scars than before the accident.

I think about the kind of people with whom Jesus spent time… Those tax collectors and sinners – the scandalous sort that religious folk avoided. This morning, as I listened to the stories of the women around the table, I thought, “we’re the kind of scandalous folk Jesus would like to hang out with.” Not pretentious. No walls of religious superiority. Just our broken selves, around a table, sharing a meal. It felt good to be at bible study again :-)

Contentment

I just got home from a beach getaway with three of my good friends (without kids!!!!) The four of us stayed up late talking and laughing… we slept in, walked on the beach, read by the pool, snoozed in our beach chairs, floated in the ocean, sat in the sand – and not once did we have to change a diaper, wipe a nose or provide a snack. It was glorious! The whole weekend I tried to rest in this gift of friendship. Finding someone you can just be with… is rare. As we were all sitting on the beach, reading our books, I was struck with such a deep sense of gratitude for the life God has given me… Anne’s brain injury and all.

I’ve been wrestling all summer with contentment, and slowly God has been chipping away at my heart to make it content. Content with my role as mother to a disabled child. Content with God’s plan to heal Anne – or not to heal Anne. Content knowing that God is sovereign, loving and good. Contentment. I breathe it in… Deep. The sounds of the ocean, the picture of my friends reading in peace, my feet buried in the sand, the knowledge that my children are safe with Eric, the seagull in the distance… all point to my Creator God. And I stay still, and breathe slow, and whisper a simple prayer, “Thank you Jesus.”

Celebration Time!

Today marks the first time Anne did ALL of her business in the potty. She told us every time she needed to go, and kept her pull-up dry all day. Woo-Hoo!!!! I can’t tell you how wonderful this is :-)

Anne continues to bring us so much joy… constantly making us laugh. As we were putting her to bed tonight, Eric said, “Anne, you are such a joy.” Anne replied, “Daddy, my name’s not Joy.”

Thank you Jesus for all that you have done to heal Anne both physically and spiritually. We are SO grateful!

Bad Theology

It’s been a while since I’ve written – mainly because I’ve been extra busy and sad. I’ve been wrestling with why I’ve been so sad, and I think it has something to do with bad theology.

Theology is simply what you believe about God. So lately, I’ve been thinking that God is not working on our behalf, or that we’re not important to him anymore, or that he doesn’t really care about us… Crazy right? How in the world could I think such untrue thoughts… After how He’s cared for us this past year… Not to mention that on every page of the Bible is a love letter to me, His child, and to Anne, one of the “least of these.”

Anne struggles too. She often says… “Why did God make my life harder?” In my worst moments, I’ll think… “Why did God make my life harder?” Self pity is the drug that leads to despair. I think this is the other reason for my sadness. Self-pity. And self pity thrives on bad theology!

I’m thankful that God has led me through depression before Anne’s accident. It was the deep realization of God’s goodness that brought me out of depression. Because of that journey, I know God is good. Now that’s some good theology!!

If God’s goodness is the anecdote to bad theology, what is the anecdote to self-pity? Gratefulness. So I’ve been trying to practice gratefulness. Thank you Jesus that she is alive. Thank you Jesus that Anne can stand on her right foot. Thank you for Anne’s smile. Thank you for providing the means to pay for therapy. Thank you for caring for us. Thank you. Thank you for these circumstances that press us more deeply into You. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Gifts

I think one of the benefits of walking through dark times is that laughter becomes much more precious. Laughter is one of life’s simple pleasures… a gift straight from God Himself. Simple pleasures are such a contrast to grief and sadness. When I experience one of these moments, I feel like my eyes become razor-sharp… absorbing every detail, so as not to miss a second of God’s gift.

Free-spirited Kate creates many of these moments for me. To watch her swing is to watch joy personified!! But I experience the same pleasure when I see Canon devouring a book or hear Anne singing (especially when I hear Anne singing…)

All of this reminds me of a book that I haven’t read… but I hear about constantly… One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

I was just resting with Kate, turning these ideas over in my head. I came downstairs to write this post, and the doorbell rang. It was a man delivering a huge fruit basket from someone in our church… The note read, “You have been in our prayers all year-long.” I then opened my email and found a note from a friend wanting to bring a herb pot made for me by the ladies in my old bible study. She said she was including a copy of One Thousand Gifts. Maybe I should read it :)