A picture update

We’ve been on a whirlwind tour of Christmas parties, concerts and other holiday activities. As of today, all of my children are home for Christmas break – just in time to celebrate Christmas with Eric’s family tomorrow – and then the 24th :-) I love Christmas Eve! I’m in a much better place this Christmas than last year…. when the grief pulled me under. The light eventually came, but last December was hard. Thinking back on it… I miss how dependent I felt on God. There’s something about being low that makes us look up.

Here are some highlights of the last few weeks…

Anne received an award in front of all the lower grades for mastering her 50 sight words. This pic was taken after the ceremony. Kate and Canon were so proud of her!

One of Anne’s many “holiday” parties…. She got to make a gingerbread house – but all she really wanted to do was eat the candy :-)

Merry Christmas from our crazy family to yours!!!!!

Canon-isms

We just received an interesting Christmas card from some family friends. They put a different spin on their “Christmas letter” by including funny quotes from their kids which they’ve collected throughout the year. One of the kids is a friend of Canon’s, so I let him read his quotes.  After reading, Canon says, “That doesn’t sound like Jake…  I would never say silly stuff like that.”

Really, Canon? I’ve decided to record Canon’s “silly sayings” not over the next year – just over the next hour. We’ll see what he says then ;-) So here we go…

You don’t need to mop the floor. The only things you need are God, food and a bathroom… and a bed to sleep in. Nah. You can just sleep on the ground.

Mommy, if you ever become an opera singer, my ears will shrivel up in disgust.

I’m not rotten… I’m incredibly rotten.

I have the hicca-ma-muppers.

Can I have another biscuit? (No, Canon) Okay, then can I put this biscuit in my mouth and send it through my digestive system?

I’m going to kick you out. Let me go get my steel-toed boot. (don’t worry…. he doesn’t really have a steel-toed boot!)

(While wrestling with Kate…) My glasses just made an ominous cracking sound.

I say a regular sentence, and people literally start rolling on the floor laughing.

That was all just from tonight. I can’t imagine what a whole year’s worth of quotes would contain …and I don’t think I want to find out ;-)

School update

I think I’ve shared before how grateful I am for Anne’s school… but it bears repeating :-)

We had Anne’s annual IEP meeting last week – which is basically a time when all of Anne’s teachers and therapists gather in one room to review Anne’s progress and set new goals for the year. I always cry at these meetings… and I always feel silly when I do – but I can’t help it. I cry when I’m grateful, and I’m just so grateful for all the people that seem to be “for” Anne. They are truly rooting for Anne to do well, and I feel they give their absolute best to help her reach her potential.

Anne receives Physical, Occupational and Speech therapy at school. She is in a regular kindergarten class, and she has her own para-professional to assist her in all of her school tasks – from writing to walking. Her para-pro is an answer to prayer. He (yes, I said “he”) is a recent college grad who has a degree in phys. ed. …He wants to coach – but he had to settle for being a para-pro… to a difficult seven-year old girl (who LOVES him – oh yes. Anne loves him.) He is so steady. He has endured much abuse from Anne – biting, hitting – but he never loses his temper – he just hands out the appropriate consequence. He notices subtle behaviors in Anne that others would easily miss – both good and bad. He takes the initiative to do more than what is expected to help her reach her potential. He really is impressive!

Anne’s primary special ed. teacher is so dedicated. I feel like it’s her number one goal to provide the best services for Anne. Her therapists are all great, but Anne especially loves her Physical Therapist, Ms. Lynn. Somehow Lynn is able to push her without Anne getting too upset. Today she walked farther than she ever had… and she is starting to propel the walker a few steps by herself!

How much farther Ms. Lynn?

Finally, the counselor at Anne’s school recently reached out to me. She is going to include Anne in her Rainbows program (which helps kids cope with grief, feelings of being different, etc.) She told me that when Anne came to Nickajack, she took the initiative to read all of Anne’s CaringBridge site – just to familiarize herself with Anne’s history. She’s been following Anne, and determined that Anne’s self awareness has improved so that she would benefit from her Rainbows group. She’s right… It is the perfect time. Anne’s counselor was just named the NATIONAL SCHOOL COUNSELOR OF THE YEAR. Now that’s amazing!!!! The AJC  ran an article about her. You can read about her here.

Anne is doing so well in school… but one of the reasons is because she goes to a great school and she is surrounded by great professionals! Go Nickajack!!!!

Sleepy Conversations

It’s late… 11:30pm or so, and Anne just called out for me. It’s rare that she wakes up at night, so I went straight to her room….

“Mommy, I called your name because I need your help to get comfy.”
“Okay Anne” and I bent down to kiss her head…
“Mommy, you know… you are real close to my fragile part. Be careful, Mommy”
“I won’t kiss your fragile part, Anne. I promise.”
“Do you think I need music to go back to sleep?”
“No, Anne. It’s the middle of the night. You will go right back to sleep.”
“Goodnight, Mommy.”

It always amazes me how perfectly she speaks… using full sentences, flawless grammar and precise diction. Even when she is half-asleep – the verbal part of her brain works… and it works well. It’s a good thing to go to bed grateful to God for my little girl’s brain.

It’s a good. good. night.

Congratulations, you can’t do it!

My friend and I were talking yesterday about how we put so much energy into being comfortable. Don’t ask me to take risks or make sacrifices – that’s not comfortable. We try to avoid pain at all costs… emotional, physical, spiritual – you name it… we want to avoid it. But I think about the richest times in my life – or the times when I’ve learned or grown the most – and it’s always when I’ve felt the weakest. How can we truly know that God is sufficient and will meet all of our needs – if we put all of our energy into creating bubbles in which we feel competent and secure?? Thankfully, God loves us enough to burst open those bubbles…

I remember my first “hard” decision as a young Christian. I was in college, and my relationship with my mother was… uncomfortable and painful – so trying to avoid Continue reading →

How God prepared 7-year-old Canon

My fellow blogger and friend, Shelly, recently wrote, “If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him all about your plans for your life.”  HA! Isn’t that so true?

Eric is a big planner. Ever so often he’ll try to get me to sit down and think through short-term and long-term goals for our family. I think I’d rather have a stomach bug… seriously. But I can guarantee that neither one of us ever planned to be parenting a brain-injured child. Never. But mysteriously, God had it planned for us all along.

Looking back, I can see very specific ways God led our family to prepare us both financially and spiritually before that fatal April day.

A few months before the accident, I remember being struck with a deep gratitude by how extraordinarily good our lives were. Eric’s job was going exceptionally well. I was serving in our church in a deeply satisfying way. Anne had turned a corner on all her hyper-sensitivity issues and for the first time EVER – all three kids were thriving (at the same time ;-). We were surrounded by a tight community of friends from both church and the community. Every aspect of our lives… was good. I remember praying with Canon one night – thanking God for all the goodness in our lives and then asking God to give us the strength to persevere when hard times would come. Canon stopped my prayer to ask about these “hard times.” And so began a series of conversations we had over the next several weeks about hardship – and how it was inevitable for every believer. We talked about how God is glorified through hardship – how God builds our character through suffering. Canon was extremely interested in the topic. I just remember marveling at how thoughtful he seemed to be at only 7 years old.

Now I know that I should have been marveling at God… not Canon :-) It was God that was bending his heart and mind to thirst after such hard truths at so young an age. Just think about the kindness and gentleness of God to prepare little 7-year-old Canon for what only He knew was about to happen. Those conversations laid the foundation for all the painful talks after the accident about suffering and grief.

Our God is sovereign, and I am. so. grateful :-)

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11.

Inner disability

Disability… I never thought I would spend so much time thinking about this word.  Our modern world of tolerance likes to color-coat disability and say… “there’s nothing wrong with them… they are just different.” Hmphf. I totally disagree. There is something very wrong with Anne – and there is something very wrong with all the other children that we know that struggle with disability. Their bodies are broken. How can you look at a disabled CHILD and not think… “This is wrong!!! It’s not supposed to be this way!!!!!”

Well, it’s not supposed to be this way. Disability is just one symptom of our fallen world. Hunger, disease, poverty, apathy – they are all symptoms of the brokenness in our world… and in our hearts.

Anne just wears her brokenness on the outside… The rest of us can hide it deep-down on the inside. There is something wrong with Anne. And with me.

Bottomline… we are all spiritually disabled. Remember the story of Jesus healing the paralytic (from Matthew 9 and Mark 2)? He heals the man’s inner and outer disability. First, He forgives the man’s sins – and then He heals him physically. I’m thankful that Jesus does both!

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day” 2 Corinthians 4:16.

Anne is still healing

I’ve been encouraged lately by little bits of progress that Anne is making. All of Anne’s little gains add up to one conclusion… Anne is still healing. I’m so thankful for God continuing to knit neurons together in Anne’s brain!!

Here’s a sampling of Anne’s “small” gains :-)

  • Her smile is starting to include both sides of her mouth – not all the time, but we are seeing that left side of her smile more and more.
  • She is tracking words from left to right more consistently in school.
  • She can stand up out of her car seat all by herself – and scoot herself back into her car seat with verbal cues.
  • She is learning how to stand from a sitting position by first pulling herself from sitting, to kneeling to standing. She uses her right hand to hold on to something for support and balance, and she’s real close to doing this by herself with only verbal cues.
  • She is becoming just a little bit shy… (she was painfully shy before).
  • She is also better behaved in school and is really trying to keep her name on “green” instead of on “yellow” or “red.”
  • She has mastered her 50 sight words and is beginning to learn more.
  • She is counting objects now. This might seem small, but she wasn’t even close to being able to do this last May. I’m very excited!
  • She is ticklish. She hasn’t been in a long time. It’s fun to see her laugh :-)
  • She can lift her left hand from her lap and place it on the table all by herself – without her right hand helping at all.
  • She’s walking farther… 300 feet at school with a walker before she starts to tire.
  • She can sit and listen to a whole picture book being read. She used to close the book after just a few pages.

Anne still has a long way to go, but we are so thankful for her continued progress! If you want to know how to pray more specifically for Anne, I update the top post on my blog on the 1st of every month with new prayer requests for Anne. And if you want to be notified by email each time I update the blog, just look on the right side for the “follow” button.

Thank you so much for your support of our family. We are so grateful!

Pray for Anne…

December 2011’s prayer requests:

  1. For the left side of Anne’s body to regain function… especially her left hand and foot,
  2. For Anne’s conversation skills to improve, specifically to be able to stay on topic for at least one minute :-)
  3. For Anne to gain more emotional toughness… in order to persevere and strive to get better,
  4. And lastly, for Anne to continue to wrestle with God’s goodness and love for her – and ultimately for her to grow to be a faithful woman of God!

Thank you!

Another good thing :-)

Running with friends. This has been really, really good!!  The best part of my fall has been finding a group of girls to run with 2-3 times a week. Yesterday morning we ran at a trail near the Chattahoochee River… and it snowed!!! It was exhilarating. Here’s a pic of us running a few weeks ago at “The River.”

Me, Beverly, Megan, Whitney & Kerry

Oh yeah, and I guess I should mention that I’m just holding the stroller… that’s not my baby:-)