school

Random Monday Ramblings

Sorry for the silence. Canon and Kate had fall-break last week (while Anne’s school was still in session) so I tried to make the most of my time with just those two. I think we squeezed a lot in our mornings, and the two munchkins had good attitudes as they went to all of Anne’s therapy sessions in the afternoons.

Time has a way of healing. When I look at Anne – I see more of our ‘new’ Anne and my longings for the ‘old’ Anne aren’t painfully sharp… they’ve become dull. I don’t think the longings will ever go away – especially as I open my fingers to acceptance more and more. But acceptance is coming easier, and the longings seem more like happy memories than sharp reminders of loss. Time heals.

God is sweet to open my eyes to His work in Anne. She has a way of bringing blessing to others – complete strangers are taken with her. We’re often late as she engages anyone (who will listen) in conversation. We were at Canon’s ballgame on Saturday, and a woman I barely recognized walked up and didn’t speak to me – but to Anne. Anne remembered her name (I sure didn’t), and the woman had remembered to bring Anne a gift. Anne beamed as she held her new, pink, little Mermaid workbook.

I think it’s a privilege to be Anne’s mom. I’m awfully grateful ;-)

My striving is not working.

I’ve been struggling lately to keep the pace. Sometimes I wonder if I just have unrealistic expectations of myself. On paper, my schedule seems very manageable… but then again, I’ve always struggled with discipline and consistency. sigh.

I think one of the issues is that everything feels relentless. Anne’s schedule is relentless. The morning routine of getting all the kids to school (on time) is relentless. Anne’s needs are relentless – and the afternoons filled with therapy and carpool and dinner preparation and homework and. and. and…

One of the reasons we chose to send Canon and Kate to school (instead of homeschooling them) was to give me more margin in my life. I’m supposed to have more time now. Hmm. It doesn’t feel like it.

I don’t think I’m alone in this struggle. Our culture is so “full” that most people I know are constantly trying to fight against filling their schedules. Maybe it’s just the emotional baggage of Anne’s disabilities that make me feel. so. heavy. Or maybe it’s my inability to think past today – which makes weekly meal planning challenging ;-) Or maybe I need to have a few more glasses of wine – but I don’t really like wine.

Actually, the only real answer is Jesus. He’s the simple Sunday School answer for everything – but in Him are depths of knowledge and wisdom and… joy. Joy. I think I just need an extra dose of joy. I sure ain’t finding it in all of my striving.  Jesus, will you give me joy? 

Good Report

I asked Anne’s special ed. teacher if I could share an email she sent me today. I was encouraged by what she wrote!

I wanted to let you know that I spent a little bit of time today with Anne in her classroom. And she did a great JOB!! With assistance in walking to the front where Ms. S was modeling how to write a sentence, Anne wrote the word go. With hand over hand assistance she did the g and independently when told to make a circle did the o. Then with assistance Anne answered two questions during calendar time: the name of her school and also one other question, which I forget. She was cued (and little bit of assistance) to raise her hand and then called on. Anne needs some reinforcements to not talk out (combination of the cue cards and some verbal reminders) But, she is making great progress. I was so proud of her. :)

Last week, her school physical therapist wrote me that Anne walked farther than she ever had before (with a walker and assistance for propulsion). So that’s awesome!! On Friday, her kindergarten teacher pulled me aside to encourage me that she thought Anne was doing really well in class.

Anne has made a great start to the school year. We continue to be both deeply grateful for what God has restored in Anne and humbly hopeful that He still has more healing to do. …Thankful for today and hopeful for tomorrow – that is a good place to be!

Thank you for your continued prayers!!! -kathryn

Absentminded Professor

I’ve always been absentminded… but it’s been BAD lately!

  • I was supposed to lead music at Bible Study yesterday, but I forgot my guitar.
  • I was supposed to do lunch duty at Canon & Kate’s school today, and I just forgot to show up. ugh.
  • On my way to get Anne from school, I forgot to get gas.
  • When I got to Anne’s school, I ran out of gas.
  • A friend from Canon & Kate’s school just HAPPENED to be driving in the parking lot of Anne’s school.  She offered to help.
  • Anne lost her shoe. My friend found it.
  • I lost my phone. My friend helped me find it.
  • We got gas. My car cranked, and now I am at home. THANK GOD.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the one with the brain injury! But thankfully, God sent help at just the right time. His provision is perfect.

The River

There’s a place near my home that everyone calls “The River.” I’ve been to this place so many times over my life. What’s funny is that it’s not literally a river – it’s a trail – and a portion of it happens to be by a river.

I can almost define the stages of my life by that trail. I remember running with an old college friend – telling her all about Eric and his mom’s cancer, how brave and strong he was to care for her – thinking the whole time how thankful I was …to be the girl he had chosen to love. And I remember running at the river by myself after Eric’s mom died – wrestling and hoping… And then later my hope was realized – and we were married.

I remember mountain biking on the smaller trails with Eric and standing with my bike at the bottom of a hill, watching, amazed – at how easily Eric could climb the hill with his bike. And then I would go – and struggle – and end up walking my bike to the top. And then we would attack the rest of the trail together.

I remember walking by the river with a jogger stroller – Canon in tow – thinking, it’s hard to run by myself. I need a friend. And years have past, and God has given me many friends.

Which brings me to this morning. A group of moms from Canon and Kate’s school run on Tuesday mornings. So after carpool, I found myself in a Suburban with three other moms and their toddlers. I had no idea where we were going. But I wasn’t all too surprised where we ended up… the river. And so we ran… and talked (and I struggled to keep the pace) and I thought… life is so… the same. In every phase, I’ve struggled and wrestled and looked to God for answers. My companions have been different – but the river is the same. It meanders and bubbles and people run past it day after day, year after year. And so it is with God. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. My alpha and omega, my beginning and end.

I hope my body is able to run at the river for many more years. I look forward to the wrestling… and to the hoping.

Family Crest

Canon is studying medieval times at school. Friday’s assignment was to create his own family crest. The students were given lots of options… including colors, animals and objects all listed with its respective symbolic meaning. Canon put a lot of thought into his shield and chose symbols that had special meaning to him and to our family. Here’s his shield:

And here is Canon’s explanation…

Here is a list of the things I chose and their meaning:

  • Black: grief (I chose black because of all the grief we’ve had since my sister, Anne’s, car accident)
  • Gold: generosity (I chose gold because of all the generosity people have shown us since the car accident.)
  • Lion: courage (I chose the lion because we have to have courage to get over what happened to Anne.)
  • Wolf: perseverance (I chose the wolf because we have to have perseverance to keep hoping that Anne will continue to heal.)
  • Horse: duty (I chose the horse because if you want to be a believer of Christ you have to be ready to do his bidding.)
  • Fox: wisdom ( I chose the fox because we need God’s wisdom to make good decisions for Anne and the rest of our family.)

I think all of these things are characteristics of our family.

I’m so thankful that Canon thinks deeply about the spiritual implications of Anne’s accident. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for him!!!!

Happy Birthday Anne!!

Today was Anne’s 7th birthday! I can’t believe my little Anne is 7!

Anne has been telling everyone all week that her birthday was coming up.. “My birthday is September 9th. I am turning seven!” Last year, she wasn’t able to express much emotion, and I remember wondering if she even realized it was her birthday… She’s come a long way over the past year!!!

I’m not very good at planning social events – so my kids’ birthday celebrations have always been more practical than extravagent :-) But I really wanted Anne to feel special today. The birthday festivities started at school. She had a large “Happy Birthday” sign on the back of her chair. I signed up to be the “Mystery Reader” for her class. I was impressed as Anne sat still and attended as I read her two favorite books to her class. I brought a special birthday treat for everyone, and after the kids finished, we all sang “Happy Birthday” to Anne. I wish I could have gotten a picture of her smile. It covered her whole face. She was radiant. When the class finished, she said, “Thank you everyone for singing Happy Birthday to me.” So sweet.

I invited some of her favorite girls to come over for a small dinner. Again, I was impressed when she tried to smile for the camera. Anne hasn’t quite learned how to smile on cue – but she was sure trying in this picture!

Kate had a good time helping Anne open all of her presents.

I think she felt special today. Happy Birthday Anne!!!!

Value of a Dad

Canon struggled during the first week of school. If you asked him what his favorite part of school was, he’d say, “math.” Recess and lunch were at the bottom of the list. All the boys play soccer during recess, and Canon would just stand on the side – moping. I had a few talks with Canon that went something like this… “Canon – just go play. You’ll have fun. You’ll see.” Those words were worthless…

Eric, on the other hand, seems to know exactly what to say to Canon. Sunday night, he gave Canon an exercise physiology lesson. He talked about muscles squeezing, blood pumping and serotonin levels in the brain. Canon listened. What was his favorite part of school Monday? Recess. He scored two goals playing soccer with the boys. So of course I asked him “Why’d you play?” His answer… “Daddy told me that exercising during recess is good for my mind.” Boys. You gotta love ’em.

My Rant :-)

Okay…  Here goes :-)  Can I just say that I’m SO thankful for special ed. services in this county???!!!! Anne’s teachers, case managers, therapists, assistants….  are all amazing and want what is best for Anne. Anne receives absolute top-notch services in a wonderfully nurturing environment. We are so thankful for Anne’s school and the people who work there.

My meeting at Anne’s school went GREAT! Her teacher had nothing but positive things to say about Anne… “She’s no more disruptive than some of the 5 year old boys we have in class.” Everyone seems to have compassion for Anne, and they all genuinely want to help her. All of their recommendations were spot-on. I could not be more pleased.

Academically she’s right on track with her class – and maybe just a little bit ahead in Language Arts. The fact that she has her short-term memory and can learn/retain new information is a miracle. She is loving school – just loving it.

On a different note, Anne is having seizures again – very different than the ones from last winter. Please pray that we would find the right combination of medication(s) to help control the seizures. THANK YOU for all your prayers. I think this is the beginning of a fantastic school year for Anne!!!

School update

Well… Sweet Anne is having difficulty inhibiting her talking and frustration level in class – especially when she gets tired. It’s all understandable. I am meeting with several of Anne’s teachers and therapists on Friday to work out a strategy that is best for Anne.

Please pray that God would give everyone a flexible spirit and grant us all wisdom and clarity regarding Anne’s schedule and behavior strategies. I’ve already had a good conversation with Anne’s primary case manager and her para-pro. I’m encouraged that Anne is surrounded by advocates who truly want what is best for her!!!

Canon and Kate are also doing well… But Canon is struggling a little with not having “immediate” friends. I think he expected to be best friends with everyone in his class by the second day. He’s learning a good lesson about how to make friends – and I’m thankful he can learn in a safe environment. The kids in his class are super sweet, and I’m sure Canon will have plenty of friends soon :-)

It’s never boring around here!!! -kathryn